Reminiscing

Now that the school year is nearly and finally ending with an upcoming summer along with a beginning of a new chapter in my life; I reminisce to the first week of coming to Kent State and realize how much an impact one year in college has affected my life. I look back to how much I knew, what I did, and even what I look liked which no way does it compare to the present. I have received experience, my individuality, being on "my own",finding who I am and have grown with awareness of diversity.

Coming to college is no piece of cake; It takes work, effort, dilligence, and strong will power. But coming to college I have realized that not everyone has grown up the way I have with my morals, religious aspects and political ideals. Of course I knew this when entering of how different these aspects were,but when experiencing them first hand It is a real eye opener and it consumes my thoughts on to how I appear to them. Although i've shared my ideals, and what I believe in to many people, I wonder if I have made an impact on them no matter how small.

As I now have reminisced about my past especially from the last year, I now focus on my upcoming future. The upcoming event(s) have filled me with mixed emotion that is unexplainable. I'm worried, excited, a little scared, nervous, yet i feel beyond thrilled and that this THIS is what i've been waiting for. A new experience that can and will change my life emotionally, physically and especially mentally. But I feel I'm prepared, no matter what one may think, to take the next step in my life.

I've been writing a book all my life and this experience will begin taking it to a new level with a new chapter. It seems every year there is some sort of freshness in my life whether I move, begin a new school, or where some event like this happens. I feel i'm ready to take on that challenge of finishing my story.

While I see the past and who I was, I go beyond that point to the future and face the experience. And that is the beauty of learning about life; the process of becoming who I am.

questions

The storm brews over the roof of my house, taking me back in time.
Yet my head is filled with so many memories, and overpouring thoughts just like every drop of the rain.
My mind is on one question and only one; yet my dreams seem to haunt me and chase after that question like one is chased in the night.
I feel surrounded, and crowded with that one question and my time is consuming faster as I write.
So little time left to make the decision; Should I stay or should I go?

Option 3- The Pull

The timing is seething, and yet I stand here, unaware of where my future will lead to. I have many hopes, dreams and passions that I wish to follow. Most of me says "Yes, you can do it, just take the leap of faith" and the other small portion tugs at me saying "No, it's change, frightening, and it IS a big leap".
Sitting here, thinking of what this BIG opportunity holds for my future, I know it has been in me all along, for so many years. I wish it was simple to make this decision, but there are so many BUTS yet not enough for me to erase it from my yesses.
I've seen this experience, opportunity and honor in my hands for so many years, but now I have finally decided to embrace, hold on, and accept this chance of a lifetime that I have been longing to find.
My heart questions my mind if I'm physically, emotionally and spiritually ready for something so big; to change my plan that I have been thinking for myself.
My mind is ready, my family is ready, my education is ready, and my heart is ready; this i know for sure. But am I all together set out to do this? Is this the plan that has been pulling at me for so long?