Many reports have been made In the areas of Baltic, Sugarcreek, Walnut Creek, and surrounding towns about a mid-aged, tall black man whom is posing as a Laundry Detergent and Dish (Dawn) Salesman.
Just today the 17th of December there has been a few accounts in Baltic where he has gone into people's homes using the "Poser" technique, tied people up as he robs their homes!
A Week or so ago, this man came to my house and entered the mud room without knocking!! I saw him scanning and looking around the house and then i told my dad there was someone at the door. This guy was ALSO middle aged tall black man who was selling dawn soap and offered my dad to go out to his vehicle to see the rest of the products. Obviously my dad didn't want the products so he didn't comply and go out to his car, So the guy left.
If you see this guy or see his car he'd be driving, try to get his license number and notify the holmes county sherriff department or police enforcement in local counties!Thank you!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Reflecting 2008
The other day I thought to myself, "I've changed incredibly much this year."
One must wonder why.
I've gone through a lot. Sure, not as much as some people.
But still I had my doubts, my untrusting moments, and my hopeless thougts.
In this Past Year of 2008, I've witnessed death, birth, life, hardships, warfare, rebirth, growth, joy, happiness, and sadness.
All of those things and more can change a person more indefinitely than most would
think. For me, it did.
It made me realize how life is so short. No, shorter than short! The world wastes there
time soooo much on worrying about what people think, worrying about what's going on, and just plain WORRYING! People worry so much that they aren't living life.
When writers, or bloggers or your next door neighbor say, "Live Life to the Fullest", we take
that phrase for granted!
I'm sure there is a group of people who stake that claim all the time, but yet DON'T do it.
Why? What's Stopping You?
ATTN: Living Life to the Fullest is NOT:
- moping around waiting for someone else to put things back together
- worrying about completely nothing
- crying when no tears should be shed/crying over spilled milk
- complaining all the time
- expecting someone else to take the leap or jump first
- concentrating on the horrible/negative stuff ALL the fricken time
- wallowing in self-pity
- not getting OVER something that took place long ago
- wasting your time and money on ridiculous things
- expecting everyone to have zero flaws, imperfections, indifferences,
defects or weaknesses
- living without God. I've tried, and it doesn't work so well
- constantly wanting your way all the time. "My way or the highway"
....and the list could go on.
In this past year, i've learned more than just what living life meant but by embracing it and taking hold of that. There's a few things i've changed in my life... but mostly a few people have been either the inspiration or example and have seriously opened my eyes and made me discover things about life and myself.
First off, I've learned to be a little more open with people and express who i am. It's all or nothing..."whether you like me or not" kind of attitude. I learned that in college just from self realization, but also from Keith who is an amazing friend. If you haven't met him, you just got to!
Secondly, I've also learned to be more straight forward and honest, and that what i may say MAY not be stupid. I had a fear of sounding stupid or dumb or whatever. But I've learned that I shouldnt be afraid of expressing who i am and my thoughts. I definitely owe my boyfriend, Jack for teaching me that. He probably doesn't realize that but it's very true!
Thirdly, I've learned to not always concentrate on the negative stuff, But to stay positive even when things are heard. My mom's taught me that along with a great friend, Quentin.
I have so many more friends that Have taught me tons of stuff too!!! but these are the major things i've personally dealt with that have changed and encouraged me!
However, I'm not the same person as I was last year, I hope to change and grow this coming year of 2009!
Living to the Fullest has a Definite Meaning this Year and Years to Come!
Happy Holidays and Have an Amazing Year!
One must wonder why.
I've gone through a lot. Sure, not as much as some people.
But still I had my doubts, my untrusting moments, and my hopeless thougts.
In this Past Year of 2008, I've witnessed death, birth, life, hardships, warfare, rebirth, growth, joy, happiness, and sadness.
All of those things and more can change a person more indefinitely than most would
think. For me, it did.
It made me realize how life is so short. No, shorter than short! The world wastes there
time soooo much on worrying about what people think, worrying about what's going on, and just plain WORRYING! People worry so much that they aren't living life.
When writers, or bloggers or your next door neighbor say, "Live Life to the Fullest", we take
that phrase for granted!
I'm sure there is a group of people who stake that claim all the time, but yet DON'T do it.
Why? What's Stopping You?
ATTN: Living Life to the Fullest is NOT:
- moping around waiting for someone else to put things back together
- worrying about completely nothing
- crying when no tears should be shed/crying over spilled milk
- complaining all the time
- expecting someone else to take the leap or jump first
- concentrating on the horrible/negative stuff ALL the fricken time
- wallowing in self-pity
- not getting OVER something that took place long ago
- wasting your time and money on ridiculous things
- expecting everyone to have zero flaws, imperfections, indifferences,
defects or weaknesses
- living without God. I've tried, and it doesn't work so well
- constantly wanting your way all the time. "My way or the highway"
....and the list could go on.
In this past year, i've learned more than just what living life meant but by embracing it and taking hold of that. There's a few things i've changed in my life... but mostly a few people have been either the inspiration or example and have seriously opened my eyes and made me discover things about life and myself.
First off, I've learned to be a little more open with people and express who i am. It's all or nothing..."whether you like me or not" kind of attitude. I learned that in college just from self realization, but also from Keith who is an amazing friend. If you haven't met him, you just got to!
Secondly, I've also learned to be more straight forward and honest, and that what i may say MAY not be stupid. I had a fear of sounding stupid or dumb or whatever. But I've learned that I shouldnt be afraid of expressing who i am and my thoughts. I definitely owe my boyfriend, Jack for teaching me that. He probably doesn't realize that but it's very true!
Thirdly, I've learned to not always concentrate on the negative stuff, But to stay positive even when things are heard. My mom's taught me that along with a great friend, Quentin.
I have so many more friends that Have taught me tons of stuff too!!! but these are the major things i've personally dealt with that have changed and encouraged me!
However, I'm not the same person as I was last year, I hope to change and grow this coming year of 2009!
Living to the Fullest has a Definite Meaning this Year and Years to Come!
Happy Holidays and Have an Amazing Year!
Update!
Wow. Has it been Really since October since i've written??
Well gee, I have not time to lose.
What is New?
---I have decided to go back to Kent State this coming semester.
All the paperwork is filed, all financial aid credited and taken care of,
and even classes scheduled. However, I have not received an assignment
for my dormitory. Hmmm . . . I wonder why.
Well Tomorrow I will definitely be calling Residence Services to ask them
what's going on.
Other than that nothing too much is relatively "new" per-say.
---My last day working at the Carlisle Inn WC is in about a week (the 20th).
Boy, i'm ready for it too. Just need time to relax, get everything around for school,
and etc.
--- Christmas is almost here. A New Year is about to begin. MOST of my christmas
shopping is finished. I've ordered most of the gifts online so therefore I am
still patiently waiting for bundles and packages to get here.
--- From December 29th through January 1st, I, i mean WE, (me and my boyfriend)
are planning on going to Canada. We decided to take a trip to be together before he goes
over in Iraq or Afganistan..and just spend New Years Eve together. I'm excited however
a little weary on money. No bookings have been made nor reservations quite yet and its the 14th! However, im not too worried- whatever happens..happens.
--- I'm very excited to get started on school again..now that i have my head reset...and am focused and lurking to succeed! =)
--- I am already looking into what i want to do for Spring Break. I have the same Break as my
family so we may or may not go to North Carolina.
--- This coming summer, I feel i have a few options for myself. Listed as follows:
1) Work and Live at Home
2) Go to School at Kent State University
3) Go to School at New York University
4) Travel
5) Volunteer or Paid Archaeologica Dig
SO FFARRR those are the options...few..yes...but im sure i'll collect more. Then the
process of elimintation begins!
--- My Family is doing well. I love my 2 sisters, brother, mom and dad, grandparents, cousins, friends, and my boyfriend. I'm SOOO incredibly thankful for everyone!
Well that's the end of the "UPDATE". If anything crazy changes, i'll def. be posting ASAP! =)
Have an Amazing Day!
Well gee, I have not time to lose.
What is New?
---I have decided to go back to Kent State this coming semester.
All the paperwork is filed, all financial aid credited and taken care of,
and even classes scheduled. However, I have not received an assignment
for my dormitory. Hmmm . . . I wonder why.
Well Tomorrow I will definitely be calling Residence Services to ask them
what's going on.
Other than that nothing too much is relatively "new" per-say.
---My last day working at the Carlisle Inn WC is in about a week (the 20th).
Boy, i'm ready for it too. Just need time to relax, get everything around for school,
and etc.
--- Christmas is almost here. A New Year is about to begin. MOST of my christmas
shopping is finished. I've ordered most of the gifts online so therefore I am
still patiently waiting for bundles and packages to get here.
--- From December 29th through January 1st, I, i mean WE, (me and my boyfriend)
are planning on going to Canada. We decided to take a trip to be together before he goes
over in Iraq or Afganistan..and just spend New Years Eve together. I'm excited however
a little weary on money. No bookings have been made nor reservations quite yet and its the 14th! However, im not too worried- whatever happens..happens.
--- I'm very excited to get started on school again..now that i have my head reset...and am focused and lurking to succeed! =)
--- I am already looking into what i want to do for Spring Break. I have the same Break as my
family so we may or may not go to North Carolina.
--- This coming summer, I feel i have a few options for myself. Listed as follows:
1) Work and Live at Home
2) Go to School at Kent State University
3) Go to School at New York University
4) Travel
5) Volunteer or Paid Archaeologica Dig
SO FFARRR those are the options...few..yes...but im sure i'll collect more. Then the
process of elimintation begins!
--- My Family is doing well. I love my 2 sisters, brother, mom and dad, grandparents, cousins, friends, and my boyfriend. I'm SOOO incredibly thankful for everyone!
Well that's the end of the "UPDATE". If anything crazy changes, i'll def. be posting ASAP! =)
Have an Amazing Day!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Oh Boy. . .
Have ya Ever had an Experience Where ya Just Wanna Shoot Someone?
Well Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Today.
I read over his pages with disgust; talk of "fake and unreal"people with a disposition of insanity.
Directing his words to a certain audience not counting to whom he's closest to.
Oh boy do People drive me crazy. What has become of people these days? Filled with Hypocricy yet pointing the finger at those who are the Same way.
God Help us is All I can Say.
Well Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Today.
I read over his pages with disgust; talk of "fake and unreal"people with a disposition of insanity.
Directing his words to a certain audience not counting to whom he's closest to.
Oh boy do People drive me crazy. What has become of people these days? Filled with Hypocricy yet pointing the finger at those who are the Same way.
God Help us is All I can Say.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Every
Every Sip I Taste of the Cold Air and Every Breath I Take of the Blue Sky, Makes me Feel Alive.
Every Smell I Drink and Every Though I think, Beauty is My Guide.
Every Moment I Wake and Every Color I Paint, I Think of You.
Every Trouble I Encounter and Every Issue That I Faulter, I Reflect What I Do.
Every Scenic Route I Take and Every Thought I Reach, Has Brought The Sun.
Every Calm Within the Storm and Every Gust Against the Norm, I Understand.
Every Dream That We See and Every Hope that We Know, Has Come to the Hill.
Every Glimpse of Rain and Every Shorn of Happiness, Is Laiden by the Window Sill.
Every Heart So Empty and Every Tear So Clear.
Every Though Approaching as You Draw So Close, So Near.
Every Smell I Drink and Every Though I think, Beauty is My Guide.
Every Moment I Wake and Every Color I Paint, I Think of You.
Every Trouble I Encounter and Every Issue That I Faulter, I Reflect What I Do.
Every Scenic Route I Take and Every Thought I Reach, Has Brought The Sun.
Every Calm Within the Storm and Every Gust Against the Norm, I Understand.
Every Dream That We See and Every Hope that We Know, Has Come to the Hill.
Every Glimpse of Rain and Every Shorn of Happiness, Is Laiden by the Window Sill.
Every Heart So Empty and Every Tear So Clear.
Every Though Approaching as You Draw So Close, So Near.
Friday, October 24, 2008
My Struggle Lately
The way I feel can not be told; I'm some how submissed under the layers that fold.
My lips catch themselves so nothing can be said. I wait for the day for my silence to be dead.
Somehow, Someway my mind is blank. With so many thoughts yet hard to say.
I can't count all the things that encircle my mind which makes my heart reckless for most of the time.
This feeling takes over me that makes me loose my breathe; my lungs feel like they have been collapsed underneath my chest.
My very own words taken from me by hurts from the past. Judging me before I even speak the words aloud.
Somehow the doors of freedom have closed in my heart. Yet the willingness to try has not let me part.
This habit that has caught me within its web, has yet to devour me within its contraption.
I need the chains unlocked, the door opened and my mind set free!
I need the condemnation to be lifted off my memory!
My thoughts inspired by the person inside, however I feel like it's something that I have left behind.
The reason for my actions or the words I don't say, is not because i'm inhumane.
It's something inside me that's holding me back, pulling me away from everything good that's intact.
I need to let the forces go that engross my inner soul; for once i need to speak out and just say no.
My lips catch themselves so nothing can be said. I wait for the day for my silence to be dead.
Somehow, Someway my mind is blank. With so many thoughts yet hard to say.
I can't count all the things that encircle my mind which makes my heart reckless for most of the time.
This feeling takes over me that makes me loose my breathe; my lungs feel like they have been collapsed underneath my chest.
My very own words taken from me by hurts from the past. Judging me before I even speak the words aloud.
Somehow the doors of freedom have closed in my heart. Yet the willingness to try has not let me part.
This habit that has caught me within its web, has yet to devour me within its contraption.
I need the chains unlocked, the door opened and my mind set free!
I need the condemnation to be lifted off my memory!
My thoughts inspired by the person inside, however I feel like it's something that I have left behind.
The reason for my actions or the words I don't say, is not because i'm inhumane.
It's something inside me that's holding me back, pulling me away from everything good that's intact.
I need to let the forces go that engross my inner soul; for once i need to speak out and just say no.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Destination
As I watched the many cars pass today on St. Route 39, I was thinking to myself that they all have some certain destination....they will either get there today....tomorrow....or a few days from now. Perhaps ones taking a long road trip across the country or they could just be out making an errand or two. One wrong turn could get them lost. But if they follow the road map, they'll get to their destination.
What is Your destination?
Are you making wrong or right turns? (no punn intended)
Will we be satisfied with the roads we take?
Or Will You end up crashing into the person in front of you?
What is Your destination?
Are you making wrong or right turns? (no punn intended)
Will we be satisfied with the roads we take?
Or Will You end up crashing into the person in front of you?
Sunday, September 28, 2008
True or False?
Today I've been thinking about the realness of people and their beliefs or "actions". I went to youtube and was looking at a canadian evangelist by the name of Todd Bentley.
As I watched some of his "works" and diffferent things he said, it made me think "Is this guy the real deal?"
Then again in the back of my head I think that if you have to question whether someone is real or not, then they probably or most likely aren't. But then you wonder if it is just some kind of blindfold that you have over your eyes that could make you think he/she is a "false prophet".
How has the world become so corrupt that you have to analyze and research whether a person is really just out for himself and putting on a show or whether he really is what he says he is?
I mean if someone is that selfish to get money and glory by pretending to do miracles and such, then that is simply annoying!
Today, i have not still decided if this Bentley guy is legit or not.
But those "false prophets" that have been proven, you may ask "why are so many people going to these events and why are they believing everything he or she says?"
Ladies and Gentleman, i got the answer!
It's quite simple actually!
Everyone wants to believe there is a higher power. Everyone wants to see miraculous or amazing things happen. Everyone wants to believe that there is more to this world then the people that reside in it.
As human beings, we fall.
As individuals, we have a hunger for something bigger and better in our life.
These people (followers; we'll call them) just happen to be longing for that same thing.
They are so hungry for it that whenever they see a glimpse of something that is out of the ordinary, they run to it. They just happen to be running into something that holds lies and contempt.
Let me clear this up; not all evangelists are false i don't believe. However, there are liers, and people that twist things just so they can get the "good stuff". We gotta be aware of those kinds of people.
That is just my opinion. Feel free to have another one.
But basically i'm saying or more of questioning, since there are deceivers in the world, how can we be sure something is true? How can we be aware of what's going on around us if we aren't sure about who is living inside us? and How are we able to discern whether or not people like Todd Bentley are real in the heart and not just another person claiming they know it all?
Are they true or false?
As I watched some of his "works" and diffferent things he said, it made me think "Is this guy the real deal?"
Then again in the back of my head I think that if you have to question whether someone is real or not, then they probably or most likely aren't. But then you wonder if it is just some kind of blindfold that you have over your eyes that could make you think he/she is a "false prophet".
How has the world become so corrupt that you have to analyze and research whether a person is really just out for himself and putting on a show or whether he really is what he says he is?
I mean if someone is that selfish to get money and glory by pretending to do miracles and such, then that is simply annoying!
Today, i have not still decided if this Bentley guy is legit or not.
But those "false prophets" that have been proven, you may ask "why are so many people going to these events and why are they believing everything he or she says?"
Ladies and Gentleman, i got the answer!
It's quite simple actually!
Everyone wants to believe there is a higher power. Everyone wants to see miraculous or amazing things happen. Everyone wants to believe that there is more to this world then the people that reside in it.
As human beings, we fall.
As individuals, we have a hunger for something bigger and better in our life.
These people (followers; we'll call them) just happen to be longing for that same thing.
They are so hungry for it that whenever they see a glimpse of something that is out of the ordinary, they run to it. They just happen to be running into something that holds lies and contempt.
Let me clear this up; not all evangelists are false i don't believe. However, there are liers, and people that twist things just so they can get the "good stuff". We gotta be aware of those kinds of people.
That is just my opinion. Feel free to have another one.
But basically i'm saying or more of questioning, since there are deceivers in the world, how can we be sure something is true? How can we be aware of what's going on around us if we aren't sure about who is living inside us? and How are we able to discern whether or not people like Todd Bentley are real in the heart and not just another person claiming they know it all?
Are they true or false?
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Election '08- Who Will I Choose?
Everyone is speaking of the upcoming election in November; Democrat Barack Obama versus Republican John McCain.
They speak of who is better, who holds firm beliefs, who will effect the economy, who will deal with the war against Iraq and mainly who will "change" the government for the "better".
To be quite honest, I believe this election is ridiculous. I feel both candidates occasionally change there stand with certain things like abortion, foreign policy, economic affairs, and especially there religious views.
If a soon-to-be president is questioning their own ideals, how will they be able to deal with we, the people's issues and questions?
What makes this election not only slightly confusing, but that my ideals range in both the democratic and republican parties and therefore twists and tangles my vote. Therefore the outcome could vary and thus could put a dent in the election.
I've thought many times about just not voting, since I personally don't really have a particular candidate i'd vote for. In fact, i'd rather my father to be president than our candidates for president.
But the more I think of not voting, I realize that it's important that I do play my part as a U.S. citizen ( sappy i know) and vote for the person that i lean towards to as far as morals, my beliefs, and what will concern me as a person.
As I do more indepth research, I hope knowledge is brought to my attention as to whom i should vote for.
My upperbody leans into McCain, but my lowerbody leans into Obama. Who should I pick?
At the moment, I have no CLUE!!!
They speak of who is better, who holds firm beliefs, who will effect the economy, who will deal with the war against Iraq and mainly who will "change" the government for the "better".
To be quite honest, I believe this election is ridiculous. I feel both candidates occasionally change there stand with certain things like abortion, foreign policy, economic affairs, and especially there religious views.
If a soon-to-be president is questioning their own ideals, how will they be able to deal with we, the people's issues and questions?
What makes this election not only slightly confusing, but that my ideals range in both the democratic and republican parties and therefore twists and tangles my vote. Therefore the outcome could vary and thus could put a dent in the election.
I've thought many times about just not voting, since I personally don't really have a particular candidate i'd vote for. In fact, i'd rather my father to be president than our candidates for president.
But the more I think of not voting, I realize that it's important that I do play my part as a U.S. citizen ( sappy i know) and vote for the person that i lean towards to as far as morals, my beliefs, and what will concern me as a person.
As I do more indepth research, I hope knowledge is brought to my attention as to whom i should vote for.
My upperbody leans into McCain, but my lowerbody leans into Obama. Who should I pick?
At the moment, I have no CLUE!!!
Possibly Over-Dramatizing (Refer to Ida-Last Blog)
So. Perhaps I over dramatized the circumstances. However, the story is true. Very True.
I still think the same way and have the same opinions of Ida, except I will try to restrain from expressing them as largely as I did.
However, I do not feel repressed nor concerned that Ida will be affected by this summary of disgression of her work ethics. In fact, i'm glad to report the true facts of her adolescence and negativity!
Yet again, I apologize if it offended anyone and I wish to re-examine Ida. However, I will not work for her even if her cows are sick with "malaria" or if her cat has gingevitus!
=)
I still think the same way and have the same opinions of Ida, except I will try to restrain from expressing them as largely as I did.
However, I do not feel repressed nor concerned that Ida will be affected by this summary of disgression of her work ethics. In fact, i'm glad to report the true facts of her adolescence and negativity!
Yet again, I apologize if it offended anyone and I wish to re-examine Ida. However, I will not work for her even if her cows are sick with "malaria" or if her cat has gingevitus!
=)
Friday, September 19, 2008
A Girl Called Ida- Based on a True Story
Here we go:
I'm a little aggitated; no, not a little, more like A LOT!
So i'm going to vent here and if well, you don't like it then go tell someone who cares.
cuz i don't. :)
Okay. So. Say "someone" (we'll call this person.....Ida) works a "low-class" job like a housekeeper. and well, You work at Front Desk (better pay, better job, more professional, etc).
One day you find out that Ida basically replaces you. Okay, so not so bad; i mean you're out of the job but you figure "hey, the manager (we'll call her....Lila) knows what she's doing; plus Ida is only getting promoted because she needs more money to support her 3 children". (all fine and dandy; understandable)
Later down the road, you ending up coming back to work because Lila needs someone NOW....a couple months later. So, you begin to work with other people including Ida.
And you think, "hmm...Ida is pretty low-class but ya know I could be wrong, she could be good at what she does".
A month later you need some time off. Other people have plans (real) and/or already working.
So. You go up to Ida and ask her to work for you; she says she has plans. (okay, well that's fine ya know, you cant do everything).
Only a couple times later it's the same response. Repeat.
However, as you get to know Ida, she talks about how the night before was great as she drank herself through hell. (notice: these words are not exact, but is basic material that sums it up)
She begins to speak of her eternal bliss with Jose cuervo and Crown royal. And you think, "you know, whatever, it's her time, her "fun" ".
You begin to talk to her more. She tells you she has three children, and no husband. (okay, you think, that would be tough)
Ida then tells you of her explicit adventures with alcohol and sex mixed together. (you're thinking okay...and how old are you?...wow.a 29 year old..hmm...is that an issue?..but yet you stay numb considering you've heard it before..kinda).
Time goes by and she asks you for her endearing help to work for her. You say yes. Repeat. Repeat.
So one day (lets say it was a Friday), Ida is late to work. No, not 5 minutes or even a 1/2 hour but more like 2 hours late. (work set date= 3pm; arrival =5pm). Ida's response to why the tardiness was "my kids are sick; there's been a lot going on lately this week". (Okay, so...almost understandable...a little pity; but not much)
You go on with the evening slightly pissed because you WERE extremely busy; with a line of people to the door and the phones ringing every second (literally), and could have used the help.
But since you're slightly understandable, you get over it and continue with the evening.
A few hours later (7:30pm or so), Ida tells you that she will leave early. (Your rage starts to build up because Ida is not suppose to leave till 9- most people stay till when they have to work no matter)
You kindly ask her, "Would you like to work till 11 tonight since you arrived late?".
Her reply cringes your face just a tad, " No, I have to be here at 7".
You are saddened yet you can understand.
As Ida's "so-called shift" is ending, she declares that she is going to go get drunk.
Your astonished, pissed off in unexplainable manner to where you want to cut Ida's throat. :)
Ida leaves ten till 8pm. You work by yourself till 11pm. Few hours later you go home.
You realize:
Ida is not responsible.
Ida is not mature.
Ida is not professional.
Ida is not bright nor intelligent.
You then realize:
She is annoying.
She is uncontrollable.
She is self absorbent.
She is an amish loving sex toy.
You then question yourself:
Why was I replaced with an unprofessional yankee, when I was more professional, and responsible with better self appearance/not sloppy?
Why does Lila continue to "understand" Ida's "issues"?
Why should I ever work for Ida again? -considering she does not return the favor in return.
Why does this person deserve the hours and/ or the time off when she is wasting it on, drugs, alcohol and sex w/random men?
How are her kids really being supported when their mother is spending money on alcohol like it grows on trees?
And the last question you think to yourself:
Why have I not yet shot her?
The End.
=)
I'm a little aggitated; no, not a little, more like A LOT!
So i'm going to vent here and if well, you don't like it then go tell someone who cares.
cuz i don't. :)
Okay. So. Say "someone" (we'll call this person.....Ida) works a "low-class" job like a housekeeper. and well, You work at Front Desk (better pay, better job, more professional, etc).
One day you find out that Ida basically replaces you. Okay, so not so bad; i mean you're out of the job but you figure "hey, the manager (we'll call her....Lila) knows what she's doing; plus Ida is only getting promoted because she needs more money to support her 3 children". (all fine and dandy; understandable)
Later down the road, you ending up coming back to work because Lila needs someone NOW....a couple months later. So, you begin to work with other people including Ida.
And you think, "hmm...Ida is pretty low-class but ya know I could be wrong, she could be good at what she does".
A month later you need some time off. Other people have plans (real) and/or already working.
So. You go up to Ida and ask her to work for you; she says she has plans. (okay, well that's fine ya know, you cant do everything).
Only a couple times later it's the same response. Repeat.
However, as you get to know Ida, she talks about how the night before was great as she drank herself through hell. (notice: these words are not exact, but is basic material that sums it up)
She begins to speak of her eternal bliss with Jose cuervo and Crown royal. And you think, "you know, whatever, it's her time, her "fun" ".
You begin to talk to her more. She tells you she has three children, and no husband. (okay, you think, that would be tough)
Ida then tells you of her explicit adventures with alcohol and sex mixed together. (you're thinking okay...and how old are you?...wow.a 29 year old..hmm...is that an issue?..but yet you stay numb considering you've heard it before..kinda).
Time goes by and she asks you for her endearing help to work for her. You say yes. Repeat. Repeat.
So one day (lets say it was a Friday), Ida is late to work. No, not 5 minutes or even a 1/2 hour but more like 2 hours late. (work set date= 3pm; arrival =5pm). Ida's response to why the tardiness was "my kids are sick; there's been a lot going on lately this week". (Okay, so...almost understandable...a little pity; but not much)
You go on with the evening slightly pissed because you WERE extremely busy; with a line of people to the door and the phones ringing every second (literally), and could have used the help.
But since you're slightly understandable, you get over it and continue with the evening.
A few hours later (7:30pm or so), Ida tells you that she will leave early. (Your rage starts to build up because Ida is not suppose to leave till 9- most people stay till when they have to work no matter)
You kindly ask her, "Would you like to work till 11 tonight since you arrived late?".
Her reply cringes your face just a tad, " No, I have to be here at 7".
You are saddened yet you can understand.
As Ida's "so-called shift" is ending, she declares that she is going to go get drunk.
Your astonished, pissed off in unexplainable manner to where you want to cut Ida's throat. :)
Ida leaves ten till 8pm. You work by yourself till 11pm. Few hours later you go home.
You realize:
Ida is not responsible.
Ida is not mature.
Ida is not professional.
Ida is not bright nor intelligent.
You then realize:
She is annoying.
She is uncontrollable.
She is self absorbent.
She is an amish loving sex toy.
You then question yourself:
Why was I replaced with an unprofessional yankee, when I was more professional, and responsible with better self appearance/not sloppy?
Why does Lila continue to "understand" Ida's "issues"?
Why should I ever work for Ida again? -considering she does not return the favor in return.
Why does this person deserve the hours and/ or the time off when she is wasting it on, drugs, alcohol and sex w/random men?
How are her kids really being supported when their mother is spending money on alcohol like it grows on trees?
And the last question you think to yourself:
Why have I not yet shot her?
The End.
=)
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Faith of a Mother
This evening; rather this morning I had been working night shift and after everything was done I decided to do my regular online "checks". (You know, Facebook...Myspace...Hotmail...etc) The next thing I new, I was typing in a website that I rarely look at. d...a...n...n...i...f...r...a...i...n.......c...o...m. As I pressed enter, the page of a girl I once knew popped up. New pictures ran down the left hand side of the page, and I scanned the page for any new blogs her mother wrote. Ahh...One from yesterday! As I began to read, tears were brought to my eyes with sadness yet amazement.
This girl is the same age as me. Had dreams that still live. Went to College. Basically a typical 19 year old girl. However, that changed when they found out she had brain cancer earlier this year. She's had numerous surgeries, along with being in and out of the hospital.
It's sad which is the partial reason of which why it brought tears to my eyes. But another thing that I cannot get over, that amazes me beyond compare, is her mother.
She writes, and keeps everyone updated on danni's health.
Not only does she fill in about what's going on, but she brings so much hope.
Imagine; your daughter having type 4 cancer. It would be awful. Most of us...ALL of us would NOT know what to do.
But no, this mother is caring, hopeful and remains faithful.
She brings so much life into her writings. Not only that but she has INCREDIBLE faith.
I can't fathom that to be honest. I would want to blame and question God; who knows what I would really do.
This mother, however, builds God up. She praises him for all the things she does have; and thanks him that her daughter is still alive. She remains faithful and has a complete instinct that God is going to do something miraculous.
I'm speechless...beyond with no words to describe.
I hope to enlighten you.
Would/Do we have that much faith in a situation like this or would we just outway God and just helplessly wait on the sidelines?
Or Would we have faith of a mother?
This girl is the same age as me. Had dreams that still live. Went to College. Basically a typical 19 year old girl. However, that changed when they found out she had brain cancer earlier this year. She's had numerous surgeries, along with being in and out of the hospital.
It's sad which is the partial reason of which why it brought tears to my eyes. But another thing that I cannot get over, that amazes me beyond compare, is her mother.
She writes, and keeps everyone updated on danni's health.
Not only does she fill in about what's going on, but she brings so much hope.
Imagine; your daughter having type 4 cancer. It would be awful. Most of us...ALL of us would NOT know what to do.
But no, this mother is caring, hopeful and remains faithful.
She brings so much life into her writings. Not only that but she has INCREDIBLE faith.
I can't fathom that to be honest. I would want to blame and question God; who knows what I would really do.
This mother, however, builds God up. She praises him for all the things she does have; and thanks him that her daughter is still alive. She remains faithful and has a complete instinct that God is going to do something miraculous.
I'm speechless...beyond with no words to describe.
I hope to enlighten you.
Would/Do we have that much faith in a situation like this or would we just outway God and just helplessly wait on the sidelines?
Or Would we have faith of a mother?
Friday, August 29, 2008
A Million Words
OMG. A million things are running through my mind.
I can't compile the thoughts nor can I sort them in any specific fashion or form.
Why do we worry so much about the future?
When really we can't control none of things that we DO worry about.
Why, as human beings, do we think everything will be smooth sailing?
When really things take money, time, commitment, trust, etc.
Why does music for some reason effect us?
When really it's just words that people are speaking with a melody.
Why can I comprehend metaphors and symbols better than actual speaking?
When really most people capture the obvious.
Why am I surrounded by so many ideals with no direct path to choose from?
When really it's quite simple; to choose whether you believe in something or not.
Why do we, as the world, concentrate so much on money, politics, and religion?
When really those things are eternally not important.
Why do I have a million words to say?
When I really can't spill them out.
I can't compile the thoughts nor can I sort them in any specific fashion or form.
Why do we worry so much about the future?
When really we can't control none of things that we DO worry about.
Why, as human beings, do we think everything will be smooth sailing?
When really things take money, time, commitment, trust, etc.
Why does music for some reason effect us?
When really it's just words that people are speaking with a melody.
Why can I comprehend metaphors and symbols better than actual speaking?
When really most people capture the obvious.
Why am I surrounded by so many ideals with no direct path to choose from?
When really it's quite simple; to choose whether you believe in something or not.
Why do we, as the world, concentrate so much on money, politics, and religion?
When really those things are eternally not important.
Why do I have a million words to say?
When I really can't spill them out.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Some Greek and Hebrew
Okay, so I decided.
The thing I want most; the object that I would love to cling to if possible in the universe.
Would be to obtain Knowledge.
Not that contains just general tips, hints, or ideas, but rather deep, serenated, thoughtful, creative, indepth, insightful intelligence about the world. No, about religion, politics and ideals that would take deep thought and concentration to succeed the ability of understanding.
Sometimes I wish I could understand things in a nutshell...and sometimes I feel like I do for maybe a split second. Like the world around me comes together just for a minute, and then it splits in a billion pieces once again.
While I'm experiencing other things in life, at some moments in time I wish to press pause and take in that moment.
But in reality, maybe I'm not meant to have this sort of knowledge. Maybe i'm just suppose to think, learn what I can, and learn some greek and hebrew.
The thing I want most; the object that I would love to cling to if possible in the universe.
Would be to obtain Knowledge.
Not that contains just general tips, hints, or ideas, but rather deep, serenated, thoughtful, creative, indepth, insightful intelligence about the world. No, about religion, politics and ideals that would take deep thought and concentration to succeed the ability of understanding.
Sometimes I wish I could understand things in a nutshell...and sometimes I feel like I do for maybe a split second. Like the world around me comes together just for a minute, and then it splits in a billion pieces once again.
While I'm experiencing other things in life, at some moments in time I wish to press pause and take in that moment.
But in reality, maybe I'm not meant to have this sort of knowledge. Maybe i'm just suppose to think, learn what I can, and learn some greek and hebrew.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Satisfaction- No Testimony?
Ever wonder how one thing can fill your satisfaction?
to tell you the truth nothing can.
Lately, small things can fill my satisfaction for only a couple minutes, a couple hours or even several days, but NOTHING can fill me forever.
It's strange. At the time, I think it can, but in the end it's discouraging and even sometimes scary.
It gets hard to understand and grasp what will last and what won't.
Even all the major things in life we think that will fulfill us, like family, friends, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex, etc.....
In the end, none of those things matter. In the end, none of these things can fulfill us.
As human beings, we are deceived. And think that somehow these things will complete us or make us whole.
But nothing can make us whole except the Lord God Almighty.
In an odd way, it's weird to say this but in the end I know i'm right.
When I was younger, i sinned of course but nothing major. I figured that I had no testimony and I felt boring; unlike other people who came out of serious things.
Somehow later down the road that deceived my mind. It wasn't the reason why I did the things I did, more over it was things I wanted to do.
Now, after doing several stupid things in my life i finally realized that NOT getting into junk WAS my testimony.
I was able to disdain from sins of the world. That WAS something AMAZING.
Now, I feel drenched with sin, tired with immorality, and unsuited for life and God's purpose.
I know this could be a so called "testimony" of itself, but I wish i would have realized that sooner.
I shouldn't have wasted my time on things that don't matter later down the road.
Instead I should have concentrated on things that will.
I made the mistake of believing that other things could build up to my satisfaction even when I knew it all along that it couldn't.
Until the moment I realized my road ends here; these things have to stop.
My eyes are open and I finally realize the mistakes I made are not of God.
So why do I still get the feeling that some things are okay in certain circumstances?
Why do I feel like i'm still being clung by a hand of death and sickness?
Why do I want to go back to the fatal being I once was?
Am I being tricked or is this just another "venture" to "find" satisfaction?
to tell you the truth nothing can.
Lately, small things can fill my satisfaction for only a couple minutes, a couple hours or even several days, but NOTHING can fill me forever.
It's strange. At the time, I think it can, but in the end it's discouraging and even sometimes scary.
It gets hard to understand and grasp what will last and what won't.
Even all the major things in life we think that will fulfill us, like family, friends, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex, etc.....
In the end, none of those things matter. In the end, none of these things can fulfill us.
As human beings, we are deceived. And think that somehow these things will complete us or make us whole.
But nothing can make us whole except the Lord God Almighty.
In an odd way, it's weird to say this but in the end I know i'm right.
When I was younger, i sinned of course but nothing major. I figured that I had no testimony and I felt boring; unlike other people who came out of serious things.
Somehow later down the road that deceived my mind. It wasn't the reason why I did the things I did, more over it was things I wanted to do.
Now, after doing several stupid things in my life i finally realized that NOT getting into junk WAS my testimony.
I was able to disdain from sins of the world. That WAS something AMAZING.
Now, I feel drenched with sin, tired with immorality, and unsuited for life and God's purpose.
I know this could be a so called "testimony" of itself, but I wish i would have realized that sooner.
I shouldn't have wasted my time on things that don't matter later down the road.
Instead I should have concentrated on things that will.
I made the mistake of believing that other things could build up to my satisfaction even when I knew it all along that it couldn't.
Until the moment I realized my road ends here; these things have to stop.
My eyes are open and I finally realize the mistakes I made are not of God.
So why do I still get the feeling that some things are okay in certain circumstances?
Why do I feel like i'm still being clung by a hand of death and sickness?
Why do I want to go back to the fatal being I once was?
Am I being tricked or is this just another "venture" to "find" satisfaction?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Grape Juice and Watch the World Wonder How You Did It!
My quote of the Season.
Life is crazy.
Sometimes you don't always get what you want.
But when life hands you something usual like lemons....be creative; craze it up a bit and make grape juice.
Life will be a little more interesting that way.
Plus it's a little entertaining.
Life is crazy.
Sometimes you don't always get what you want.
But when life hands you something usual like lemons....be creative; craze it up a bit and make grape juice.
Life will be a little more interesting that way.
Plus it's a little entertaining.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Fill In
So....I look back on my blogs and think wow...i've really grown mentally...as far as the last post goes..ya i def. most have been half of sleep while writing it so please forgive the misunderstandable language..
a few things i learned recently...or actually thought about more :
1) life is sooooo short; enjoy every minute ya got.
2) i'm not going to live on my own till i have to
3) the war is an interesting conglobaration and way too extremely controversial
4) embracing life doesn't mean doing whatever the heck ya want; it's about making a sacrifice for someone...about making a commitment...about holding on to the fear that so many hold on today.
5) enjoy the people you are around or love cuz one day they won't be able to dry your tears, laugh with you or sing with you.
6) make each moment in life something to remember; whether you told someone you love them, or if it's going somewhere you've never been or if it's just sharing your experience of life so far with other people
7) being passionate about life is not a myth; it's an actuality that should consume your everyday
8) family is important more than we know
... those are some things that have been on my mind and heart lately...
right now...i'm still surviving, and breathing with a roof over my head, food in my stomach, some money in my pocket (emph. on some) and a house filled of people that love me.. =)
a few things i learned recently...or actually thought about more :
1) life is sooooo short; enjoy every minute ya got.
2) i'm not going to live on my own till i have to
3) the war is an interesting conglobaration and way too extremely controversial
4) embracing life doesn't mean doing whatever the heck ya want; it's about making a sacrifice for someone...about making a commitment...about holding on to the fear that so many hold on today.
5) enjoy the people you are around or love cuz one day they won't be able to dry your tears, laugh with you or sing with you.
6) make each moment in life something to remember; whether you told someone you love them, or if it's going somewhere you've never been or if it's just sharing your experience of life so far with other people
7) being passionate about life is not a myth; it's an actuality that should consume your everyday
8) family is important more than we know
... those are some things that have been on my mind and heart lately...
right now...i'm still surviving, and breathing with a roof over my head, food in my stomach, some money in my pocket (emph. on some) and a house filled of people that love me.. =)
Friday, August 8, 2008
Back to Home
I question myself as to why i'm still up. It still has not come to me. I have not slept for a good 50 hours. yes, i'm a bit weary but i will manage.
However, one thing i didn't manage is staying in the same place for long.
I moved back to Ohio.
Being up all night, I cleaned the indiana house from top to bottom.
now, me sitting before you, i am writing from ohio.
i believe everything is clean, gone and packed for the next trip out to shipshewana.
my body is so tired, and weak that i can barely stay up to keep my blood pumping.
with the little sleep i covered was that.
my eyes are drifting and i just may fall on my face when you walk down the aisle..ahh..
However, one thing i didn't manage is staying in the same place for long.
I moved back to Ohio.
Being up all night, I cleaned the indiana house from top to bottom.
now, me sitting before you, i am writing from ohio.
i believe everything is clean, gone and packed for the next trip out to shipshewana.
my body is so tired, and weak that i can barely stay up to keep my blood pumping.
with the little sleep i covered was that.
my eyes are drifting and i just may fall on my face when you walk down the aisle..ahh..
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Re-Directing the Challenge
So it is amazing how plans change....amazing.
the challenge that i believe(d) i was suppose to take on did not go as planned.
i got sick ... very sick.
in time; i could not drive an hour away, get on a train and ride for 3 hours.
nor could have i walked around the town of chicago in the warm, sun burning heat.
i was sad; but then i was given an opportunity several days later to experience or something to regain my challenge that i set for myself.
sometimes life doesn't really go as planned, but we have to remember...always remember that the "messed up" plans are some key features that make life different, and interesting.
the challenge that i believe(d) i was suppose to take on did not go as planned.
i got sick ... very sick.
in time; i could not drive an hour away, get on a train and ride for 3 hours.
nor could have i walked around the town of chicago in the warm, sun burning heat.
i was sad; but then i was given an opportunity several days later to experience or something to regain my challenge that i set for myself.
sometimes life doesn't really go as planned, but we have to remember...always remember that the "messed up" plans are some key features that make life different, and interesting.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
A Challenge into the Unknown
I tossed and turned last night; an idea settled in my stomach and my heart could not turn from it.
I wonder if it's something I just want to do or if it's something I should do.
I'm running to the unknown; no idea where it will lead me.
I feel like this for some reason is what I am suppose to do; atleast for this day- this time.
Not knowing what I will do when I get there; I'm nervous.
No, not afraid; but more unsettled, surrounded, and astounded.
Is this the plan God has for me?
Am I suppose to follow this insane yet comforting idea?
Is God telling me to go or is it just a part of me that wants to think I'm suppose to go?
Is this his challenge for me? or
is it a blind accusation?
I usually think I know what I want and what's best for me; but in reality I don't.
This feeling inside of me says go, but my stubborness for some reason says no.
Should I listen to the small voice inside?
Is this the challenge that I have been wanting to take?
or is this the challenge I need to take?
A journey, a trip, a challenge I have yet to take into the unknown?
I wonder if it's something I just want to do or if it's something I should do.
I'm running to the unknown; no idea where it will lead me.
I feel like this for some reason is what I am suppose to do; atleast for this day- this time.
Not knowing what I will do when I get there; I'm nervous.
No, not afraid; but more unsettled, surrounded, and astounded.
Is this the plan God has for me?
Am I suppose to follow this insane yet comforting idea?
Is God telling me to go or is it just a part of me that wants to think I'm suppose to go?
Is this his challenge for me? or
is it a blind accusation?
I usually think I know what I want and what's best for me; but in reality I don't.
This feeling inside of me says go, but my stubborness for some reason says no.
Should I listen to the small voice inside?
Is this the challenge that I have been wanting to take?
or is this the challenge I need to take?
A journey, a trip, a challenge I have yet to take into the unknown?
Friday, July 25, 2008
Enough? -the pressure of life
Ever have the feeling in which life just seems to always drag you down; no matter what you do, what you say or who you believe in?
Ever wish the emptiness could be swept away?
Ever want to believe that you weren't meant for the life you are leading?
Ever think back to the times you felt happy and wonder what you did to deserve the unbreakable truth?
Ever hope that you could rewind the time and perhaps go to the past-reviewing and reliving those moments of glee?
...Sometimes i do....Other times i'm glad that i have traveled past those years...past those seconds of happiness, worrying, sadness in which has gotten me through much.
...But then i think; i'm finally becoming an adult- where all the real worrying comes into play.
for example; my financial future and present (bills, car, phone etc), my education, importance of relationships, and what I wanna do for myself and my life.
At this moment i am bound to the chain of stresses; i don't know how to reach beyond that.
Moving to indiana has given me a lot of respect for my family and loved ones and has made me realize that life is not an easy glide....it's more like a crazy twist with highs and lows; mountains and valleys; smiles and frowns....
All i can say is that i'm alive; my family is well and my friends are safe.
is that enough?
Ever wish the emptiness could be swept away?
Ever want to believe that you weren't meant for the life you are leading?
Ever think back to the times you felt happy and wonder what you did to deserve the unbreakable truth?
Ever hope that you could rewind the time and perhaps go to the past-reviewing and reliving those moments of glee?
...Sometimes i do....Other times i'm glad that i have traveled past those years...past those seconds of happiness, worrying, sadness in which has gotten me through much.
...But then i think; i'm finally becoming an adult- where all the real worrying comes into play.
for example; my financial future and present (bills, car, phone etc), my education, importance of relationships, and what I wanna do for myself and my life.
At this moment i am bound to the chain of stresses; i don't know how to reach beyond that.
Moving to indiana has given me a lot of respect for my family and loved ones and has made me realize that life is not an easy glide....it's more like a crazy twist with highs and lows; mountains and valleys; smiles and frowns....
All i can say is that i'm alive; my family is well and my friends are safe.
is that enough?
Thursday, July 17, 2008
An Amazing Return
Today for the first time in awhile I don't feel like writing.
An odd thing; this I know.
I was thinking that I had no inspiration and nothing really new to say, but then It hit me.
Words do not come from inspiration nor does it come from our feelings, but more or less comes our heart and what we are really thinking.
Right now, I'm thinking of how I have changed in so many ways since yesterday, since last week, last month, last year...etc.
I'm thinking of my future and how it could be changed by one small move, by one small expression or act.
I'm figuring out that embracing life is the one and only way to live it.
I'm realizing that all the feelings kept inside us are ready to scream and be released through our passions and talents.
Today is an amazing return of who I am. A life not many can fathom.
An odd thing; this I know.
I was thinking that I had no inspiration and nothing really new to say, but then It hit me.
Words do not come from inspiration nor does it come from our feelings, but more or less comes our heart and what we are really thinking.
Right now, I'm thinking of how I have changed in so many ways since yesterday, since last week, last month, last year...etc.
I'm thinking of my future and how it could be changed by one small move, by one small expression or act.
I'm figuring out that embracing life is the one and only way to live it.
I'm realizing that all the feelings kept inside us are ready to scream and be released through our passions and talents.
Today is an amazing return of who I am. A life not many can fathom.
Friday, June 27, 2008
A Rude Awakening
In the past month or so, I have come to a rude awakening. As seeing that life comes with its doubts, and troubles and that yet there are those moments; those sparks that gives you hope to become a better person and move on with your life. To give you an endevour in becoming what you have wished to be all your life.
I have also learned that no matter what road you are on, or where the past has brought you, we are just human beings that have only played a small part in this universe. Our creator is the one that makes everything flow.
No matter how hard we try or how hard we want to believe that what we do will satisfy us, it won't.
Nothing else works except him.
Our friends can't solve our problems, nor can our loved ones count the stars.
Friends are there to encourage you, but He is the only one that can lift you off the ground.
The worlds views do not matter in the end. Nor do any of the worlds "activities" solve the issues that we face.
Only we can make a choice; whether we want to believe and know that He is the only One or believe that the obtuse world will some how jump to our side.
I have also learned that no matter what road you are on, or where the past has brought you, we are just human beings that have only played a small part in this universe. Our creator is the one that makes everything flow.
No matter how hard we try or how hard we want to believe that what we do will satisfy us, it won't.
Nothing else works except him.
Our friends can't solve our problems, nor can our loved ones count the stars.
Friends are there to encourage you, but He is the only one that can lift you off the ground.
The worlds views do not matter in the end. Nor do any of the worlds "activities" solve the issues that we face.
Only we can make a choice; whether we want to believe and know that He is the only One or believe that the obtuse world will some how jump to our side.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
*Living With Passion*
Hungry for Life.
Longing for Hope.
Living to the Fullest.
Gaining in Faith.
Growing in your Dream.
Never Giving Up; Never Giving In.
Pushing through the Hard Times.
Embracing the Good Times.
Reaching for the Goal.
Searching for the Fire that is Burning Inside.
Finding your Inner Self and Who’ve you yet to Become.
Trusting that He knows.
Moving into the Direction of Succeeding.
Longing for Hope.
Living to the Fullest.
Gaining in Faith.
Growing in your Dream.
Never Giving Up; Never Giving In.
Pushing through the Hard Times.
Embracing the Good Times.
Reaching for the Goal.
Searching for the Fire that is Burning Inside.
Finding your Inner Self and Who’ve you yet to Become.
Trusting that He knows.
Moving into the Direction of Succeeding.
O' Wondrous of Ways--Sonnet
A Sonnet I Wrote in the year of 06'07.
How Do I Love Thee?
Let Me Count the Ways.
I love Thee Beyond the Coldness of Death,
From Morning to Night, No Matter Where Thee Go.
I Shall Love Thee till the End of Time,
Till the Moon turns Bright Red or
Till The Sun is No More.
I Love Thee With Nothing Else Behind Me, No
One to Interfere the time on Earth. I Love
Thee Strong, Bright, Till the Very End.
Time Passes so Fast, yet You are Still Beside Me.
I Love thee, With love that Can Last till the day that I pass.
O’ So many wondrous Ways that I love Thee.
How Can I count the so Many Ways that I Love Thee?
How Do I Love Thee?
Let Me Count the Ways.
I love Thee Beyond the Coldness of Death,
From Morning to Night, No Matter Where Thee Go.
I Shall Love Thee till the End of Time,
Till the Moon turns Bright Red or
Till The Sun is No More.
I Love Thee With Nothing Else Behind Me, No
One to Interfere the time on Earth. I Love
Thee Strong, Bright, Till the Very End.
Time Passes so Fast, yet You are Still Beside Me.
I Love thee, With love that Can Last till the day that I pass.
O’ So many wondrous Ways that I love Thee.
How Can I count the so Many Ways that I Love Thee?
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Once Again...A New Chapter!!
So. I thought that this summer would begin A New Chapter in my life.
Little did I know how much of a change it would be. To think I thought this summer would just consist of staying in Walnut Creek, Ohio, working at some local shop and doing the same, slightly boring things that happen on a day-to-day regular bases.
But lo and behold, I'm moving to Indiana most likely working at my old job at a local restaurant that is in walking distance.
Tis, I'd must say this short-notice is extremely spontaneous and to the extent even perhaps crazy.
But That's what makes up life. Just another adventure; Another Chapter that I never would Have thought that would be included!
=)
Little did I know how much of a change it would be. To think I thought this summer would just consist of staying in Walnut Creek, Ohio, working at some local shop and doing the same, slightly boring things that happen on a day-to-day regular bases.
But lo and behold, I'm moving to Indiana most likely working at my old job at a local restaurant that is in walking distance.
Tis, I'd must say this short-notice is extremely spontaneous and to the extent even perhaps crazy.
But That's what makes up life. Just another adventure; Another Chapter that I never would Have thought that would be included!
=)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Oh. Another Metaphor.
I'm sitting outside gazing up at the sky and realizung how it identifies the people in the world.
There are billions of stars in the sky. Like the billions of people in the world.
Each star shines brightly yet no stars are alike.
Some shine brightly more than others, and some are bigger than others.
Yet without one of those stars, space would form different correlations.
Some stars are more known like the North Star or the group of stars that form the Big Dipper. But the other stars that have insignificant names, no name or yet to be named are just as important. Those stars help make up the universe and without them who knows how different life would be.
People like Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, or Donald Trump are more known and perhaps the people we may or may not look up to.
What we don't realize is that we are just as important as them. Perhaps we may not have met up to societies "standards", but we all have a purpose and a place in this world that can make a difference in the future.
What we do now can effect the coming generations whether we believe it or not.
These people mentioned have left a legacy. Why be discouraged and follow the world's view of success, when we too can leave a legacy.
Just like the stars we see that have effected the universe and made the sky so beautiful (not to be vague), we can put an indent on the world and the people that surround us by living up to our own standards and following the legacy we have yet to make!
There are billions of stars in the sky. Like the billions of people in the world.
Each star shines brightly yet no stars are alike.
Some shine brightly more than others, and some are bigger than others.
Yet without one of those stars, space would form different correlations.
Some stars are more known like the North Star or the group of stars that form the Big Dipper. But the other stars that have insignificant names, no name or yet to be named are just as important. Those stars help make up the universe and without them who knows how different life would be.
People like Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, or Donald Trump are more known and perhaps the people we may or may not look up to.
What we don't realize is that we are just as important as them. Perhaps we may not have met up to societies "standards", but we all have a purpose and a place in this world that can make a difference in the future.
What we do now can effect the coming generations whether we believe it or not.
These people mentioned have left a legacy. Why be discouraged and follow the world's view of success, when we too can leave a legacy.
Just like the stars we see that have effected the universe and made the sky so beautiful (not to be vague), we can put an indent on the world and the people that surround us by living up to our own standards and following the legacy we have yet to make!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
VENTING....ah..i love it!
Wow. So life can be pretty interesting, entertaining, and complicated
all at the same time. Now How is that?
This is a totally informal blog, but who really cares...There aren't many readers out there anyway.
So i've been lets just say reflecting on life lately. And i've realized of how all the topics of sex, religion, and politics are such a delicacy to man kind.
No one can talk about it without one getting stomped on, preached at, or suffocated.
Why has society engulfed these subjects on us yet we dare not talk about them amongst ourselves?
Why is media so concentrated on these subjects yet when we talk about them non-pervertedly, they are thrown against the wall?
Another question i ask myself is...WHY do media lie, and cover up the truth instead of showing the pure reality of life?
Oh wait...I can answer that!
Because they're prude, pungnent, and don't dare want to "offend" people or hurt a person's so called feelings.
Yet those same people that get offended go watch R rated films that are unrealistic and that have more devastation, gore and death than reality.
My Belief? the News and Media should only follow one rule...To ask for permission from the people or person that the picture or article is about.
America needs to face the dang reality that things happen and if you don't wanna see vivid pictures or read "scandalous" articles, then people...DONT WATCH OR READ THE NEWS!
News is about getting and showing the truth. Not the half truth or a quarter of the truth but the WHOLE fricken truth. AND people if you don't want that stuff then don't turn on the TV to CNN nor Don't buy THE NEW YORK TIMES.
Face the fact! Life is brutal, people are killed, suicides are common, racial activities STILL happen. Those who deny the truth, DONT want to OBVIOUSLY live in the real world!
HINT: If you happen to be one of these narrow-close minded individuals then move to some little island off of AFRICA where the media can't get ya, cuz one of these days MEDIA's going to change..and wow...you'll actually HAVE to face the reality!!
all at the same time. Now How is that?
This is a totally informal blog, but who really cares...There aren't many readers out there anyway.
So i've been lets just say reflecting on life lately. And i've realized of how all the topics of sex, religion, and politics are such a delicacy to man kind.
No one can talk about it without one getting stomped on, preached at, or suffocated.
Why has society engulfed these subjects on us yet we dare not talk about them amongst ourselves?
Why is media so concentrated on these subjects yet when we talk about them non-pervertedly, they are thrown against the wall?
Another question i ask myself is...WHY do media lie, and cover up the truth instead of showing the pure reality of life?
Oh wait...I can answer that!
Because they're prude, pungnent, and don't dare want to "offend" people or hurt a person's so called feelings.
Yet those same people that get offended go watch R rated films that are unrealistic and that have more devastation, gore and death than reality.
My Belief? the News and Media should only follow one rule...To ask for permission from the people or person that the picture or article is about.
America needs to face the dang reality that things happen and if you don't wanna see vivid pictures or read "scandalous" articles, then people...DONT WATCH OR READ THE NEWS!
News is about getting and showing the truth. Not the half truth or a quarter of the truth but the WHOLE fricken truth. AND people if you don't want that stuff then don't turn on the TV to CNN nor Don't buy THE NEW YORK TIMES.
Face the fact! Life is brutal, people are killed, suicides are common, racial activities STILL happen. Those who deny the truth, DONT want to OBVIOUSLY live in the real world!
HINT: If you happen to be one of these narrow-close minded individuals then move to some little island off of AFRICA where the media can't get ya, cuz one of these days MEDIA's going to change..and wow...you'll actually HAVE to face the reality!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
NG
I got to remind myself everyday the reasons why i'm taking on this experience.
Not for the money nor the benefits, but the experience and what I can find in myself.
Yes, it may seem simple yet it is purely NOT. This is a big decision as I have already clearely
shown in other posts, but to fathem it is unexplainable.
It is a for sure step, but I will not be taking it on this summer. I need to get other things out of the way and clear my life up before i make this a new chapter in my life.
My promise to Myself:
I will not back down nor will I quit.
I will not join for dead reasons.
It is my duty, my passion, and my responsibility that I feel I need to put in place.
Although it does not consist in this summer, It will FOR SURE next summer.
I want to learn, to experience, to gain intelligence and knowledge, to serve, and to learn skills unknown to the regular American civillian.
I want an opportunity to remember, a career experience beyond my knowledge and an MOS that I have wanted for a long time to grab hold of!
-This is promise I make to myself, and to all who read this (very few i know). This is what I'm set out to do and I feel its my calling and my time to make the most of my life.
Not for the money nor the benefits, but the experience and what I can find in myself.
Yes, it may seem simple yet it is purely NOT. This is a big decision as I have already clearely
shown in other posts, but to fathem it is unexplainable.
It is a for sure step, but I will not be taking it on this summer. I need to get other things out of the way and clear my life up before i make this a new chapter in my life.
My promise to Myself:
I will not back down nor will I quit.
I will not join for dead reasons.
It is my duty, my passion, and my responsibility that I feel I need to put in place.
Although it does not consist in this summer, It will FOR SURE next summer.
I want to learn, to experience, to gain intelligence and knowledge, to serve, and to learn skills unknown to the regular American civillian.
I want an opportunity to remember, a career experience beyond my knowledge and an MOS that I have wanted for a long time to grab hold of!
-This is promise I make to myself, and to all who read this (very few i know). This is what I'm set out to do and I feel its my calling and my time to make the most of my life.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Reminiscing
Now that the school year is nearly and finally ending with an upcoming summer along with a beginning of a new chapter in my life; I reminisce to the first week of coming to Kent State and realize how much an impact one year in college has affected my life. I look back to how much I knew, what I did, and even what I look liked which no way does it compare to the present. I have received experience, my individuality, being on "my own",finding who I am and have grown with awareness of diversity.
Coming to college is no piece of cake; It takes work, effort, dilligence, and strong will power. But coming to college I have realized that not everyone has grown up the way I have with my morals, religious aspects and political ideals. Of course I knew this when entering of how different these aspects were,but when experiencing them first hand It is a real eye opener and it consumes my thoughts on to how I appear to them. Although i've shared my ideals, and what I believe in to many people, I wonder if I have made an impact on them no matter how small.
As I now have reminisced about my past especially from the last year, I now focus on my upcoming future. The upcoming event(s) have filled me with mixed emotion that is unexplainable. I'm worried, excited, a little scared, nervous, yet i feel beyond thrilled and that this THIS is what i've been waiting for. A new experience that can and will change my life emotionally, physically and especially mentally. But I feel I'm prepared, no matter what one may think, to take the next step in my life.
I've been writing a book all my life and this experience will begin taking it to a new level with a new chapter. It seems every year there is some sort of freshness in my life whether I move, begin a new school, or where some event like this happens. I feel i'm ready to take on that challenge of finishing my story.
While I see the past and who I was, I go beyond that point to the future and face the experience. And that is the beauty of learning about life; the process of becoming who I am.
Coming to college is no piece of cake; It takes work, effort, dilligence, and strong will power. But coming to college I have realized that not everyone has grown up the way I have with my morals, religious aspects and political ideals. Of course I knew this when entering of how different these aspects were,but when experiencing them first hand It is a real eye opener and it consumes my thoughts on to how I appear to them. Although i've shared my ideals, and what I believe in to many people, I wonder if I have made an impact on them no matter how small.
As I now have reminisced about my past especially from the last year, I now focus on my upcoming future. The upcoming event(s) have filled me with mixed emotion that is unexplainable. I'm worried, excited, a little scared, nervous, yet i feel beyond thrilled and that this THIS is what i've been waiting for. A new experience that can and will change my life emotionally, physically and especially mentally. But I feel I'm prepared, no matter what one may think, to take the next step in my life.
I've been writing a book all my life and this experience will begin taking it to a new level with a new chapter. It seems every year there is some sort of freshness in my life whether I move, begin a new school, or where some event like this happens. I feel i'm ready to take on that challenge of finishing my story.
While I see the past and who I was, I go beyond that point to the future and face the experience. And that is the beauty of learning about life; the process of becoming who I am.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
questions
The storm brews over the roof of my house, taking me back in time.
Yet my head is filled with so many memories, and overpouring thoughts just like every drop of the rain.
My mind is on one question and only one; yet my dreams seem to haunt me and chase after that question like one is chased in the night.
I feel surrounded, and crowded with that one question and my time is consuming faster as I write.
So little time left to make the decision; Should I stay or should I go?
Yet my head is filled with so many memories, and overpouring thoughts just like every drop of the rain.
My mind is on one question and only one; yet my dreams seem to haunt me and chase after that question like one is chased in the night.
I feel surrounded, and crowded with that one question and my time is consuming faster as I write.
So little time left to make the decision; Should I stay or should I go?
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Option 3- The Pull
The timing is seething, and yet I stand here, unaware of where my future will lead to. I have many hopes, dreams and passions that I wish to follow. Most of me says "Yes, you can do it, just take the leap of faith" and the other small portion tugs at me saying "No, it's change, frightening, and it IS a big leap".
Sitting here, thinking of what this BIG opportunity holds for my future, I know it has been in me all along, for so many years. I wish it was simple to make this decision, but there are so many BUTS yet not enough for me to erase it from my yesses.
I've seen this experience, opportunity and honor in my hands for so many years, but now I have finally decided to embrace, hold on, and accept this chance of a lifetime that I have been longing to find.
My heart questions my mind if I'm physically, emotionally and spiritually ready for something so big; to change my plan that I have been thinking for myself.
My mind is ready, my family is ready, my education is ready, and my heart is ready; this i know for sure. But am I all together set out to do this? Is this the plan that has been pulling at me for so long?
Sitting here, thinking of what this BIG opportunity holds for my future, I know it has been in me all along, for so many years. I wish it was simple to make this decision, but there are so many BUTS yet not enough for me to erase it from my yesses.
I've seen this experience, opportunity and honor in my hands for so many years, but now I have finally decided to embrace, hold on, and accept this chance of a lifetime that I have been longing to find.
My heart questions my mind if I'm physically, emotionally and spiritually ready for something so big; to change my plan that I have been thinking for myself.
My mind is ready, my family is ready, my education is ready, and my heart is ready; this i know for sure. But am I all together set out to do this? Is this the plan that has been pulling at me for so long?
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The Silences We Hear
The whispers of death have shaken over us; empowering our own soul and defying reason.
It breathes over our neck as the chills crawl down our backs and spray out toward our fingertips.
Although death is as silent as the night, one is prowled by death like a fawn being hunted by its predator.
Death has a surprising upbringing in which most of the time is sudden, and confusing with no explanation and mild understanding.
The silence sweeps over, yet we can still hear the cry for life, the coming of death and the crossing of each.
Death is one of the only silences we hear.
It breathes over our neck as the chills crawl down our backs and spray out toward our fingertips.
Although death is as silent as the night, one is prowled by death like a fawn being hunted by its predator.
Death has a surprising upbringing in which most of the time is sudden, and confusing with no explanation and mild understanding.
The silence sweeps over, yet we can still hear the cry for life, the coming of death and the crossing of each.
Death is one of the only silences we hear.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Surprise! Surprise! Another Governmental Scandal!
And this time...He HAS to Resign!!
Eliot Spitzer, Governor of New York & ex- prosecutor, filed his resignation several days ago. But for what, you may ask. As he told his wife just a couple days before it ventured public, he was involved with an ongoing $5,500 an-hour prostitution rush. With reporters at his feet, March 10th of 2008 was a day for apologies to Spitzer's family, friends and his state.
This so-called "scandal" sounds a little familiar which happened in the White House over a decade ago. The Lewinsky Scandal; which was the scandal between Pres. Bill Clinton (1993-2001) and intern Monica Lewinsky. Although, Monica was not a prostitute nor did Clinton pay for there "relationship", they still received publicity and Clinton was near impeachment!
Bill Clinton was the President Of the United States! Although affairs are not necessarily "illegal", they are still morally wrong, escpecially if one's the president of the US. For Spitzer, hence governor of NY, to resign because a prostitution yet Clinton only suffered humility for his affair. This concept is mind blowing and abominable!
Eliot Spitzer, Governor of New York & ex- prosecutor, filed his resignation several days ago. But for what, you may ask. As he told his wife just a couple days before it ventured public, he was involved with an ongoing $5,500 an-hour prostitution rush. With reporters at his feet, March 10th of 2008 was a day for apologies to Spitzer's family, friends and his state.
This so-called "scandal" sounds a little familiar which happened in the White House over a decade ago. The Lewinsky Scandal; which was the scandal between Pres. Bill Clinton (1993-2001) and intern Monica Lewinsky. Although, Monica was not a prostitute nor did Clinton pay for there "relationship", they still received publicity and Clinton was near impeachment!
Bill Clinton was the President Of the United States! Although affairs are not necessarily "illegal", they are still morally wrong, escpecially if one's the president of the US. For Spitzer, hence governor of NY, to resign because a prostitution yet Clinton only suffered humility for his affair. This concept is mind blowing and abominable!
Old, Musty Rocking Chair
As I walked up to the attic, the rigid stairs made a creak.
Cobwebs in the corner, and the air quite bleak.
Squinting through the mist of dark, I can hardly see.
Stacks of boxes lay across the floor, as well as old debris.
As I look over the room, a certain corner is brought to my attention.
An old, musty, rocking chair that my grandfather use to mention.
Although layered with particles of dust, a certain magnificence gives it a glow.
Perhaps its the wood finishing or the painting above it by Vincent Van Gogh.
Remembering back to the stories that he has told, about when he was little
and when he was old.
I realize that it has been awhile since it has seen a visitor as I touch the arm of the antique chair. Swiping the dust onto the ground, as I take a seat there.
Rocking back and forth as one has done before,
listening to its hum as it once had been adored.
I look at the one light on the attic ceiling, just as I stare.
Knowing that I'm in the same place my grandpa was once rocking in his old, musty, rocking chair.
Cobwebs in the corner, and the air quite bleak.
Squinting through the mist of dark, I can hardly see.
Stacks of boxes lay across the floor, as well as old debris.
As I look over the room, a certain corner is brought to my attention.
An old, musty, rocking chair that my grandfather use to mention.
Although layered with particles of dust, a certain magnificence gives it a glow.
Perhaps its the wood finishing or the painting above it by Vincent Van Gogh.
Remembering back to the stories that he has told, about when he was little
and when he was old.
I realize that it has been awhile since it has seen a visitor as I touch the arm of the antique chair. Swiping the dust onto the ground, as I take a seat there.
Rocking back and forth as one has done before,
listening to its hum as it once had been adored.
I look at the one light on the attic ceiling, just as I stare.
Knowing that I'm in the same place my grandpa was once rocking in his old, musty, rocking chair.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Thought of the Day
Everything that you do will in turn repeat itself in the future.
Sudden behavior can break, make or take friendships.
If you have done something to someone, there's a good chance it will happen to you.
Experience can teach you a lot; you can learn from mistakes and you can learn from
your successes.
Sudden behavior can break, make or take friendships.
If you have done something to someone, there's a good chance it will happen to you.
Experience can teach you a lot; you can learn from mistakes and you can learn from
your successes.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Did God?
The time of night slips through the day, as I wake up and wonder why these so called events happen.
Just like time, life also slips away from one night to the next; so unpredictable with no warning or yield signs. Nothing that says,"STOP; Turn Around!".
To think a life can just disappear between seconds, minutes, hours or days.
It boggles my mind; every thought, every idea is crushed down to One thought and memories of him.
He had thoughts, ideas, memories, wishes, dreams, friendships, and loved ones. To think his life was shattered with a mistakeable happening.
I ask the question like a child, but honestly why does God let those things happen?
For us, death seems so untimely or atleast for me I don't think he was suppose to go yet.
But the real question i'm getting at; Did God?
Just like time, life also slips away from one night to the next; so unpredictable with no warning or yield signs. Nothing that says,"STOP; Turn Around!".
To think a life can just disappear between seconds, minutes, hours or days.
It boggles my mind; every thought, every idea is crushed down to One thought and memories of him.
He had thoughts, ideas, memories, wishes, dreams, friendships, and loved ones. To think his life was shattered with a mistakeable happening.
I ask the question like a child, but honestly why does God let those things happen?
For us, death seems so untimely or atleast for me I don't think he was suppose to go yet.
But the real question i'm getting at; Did God?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
In The Way He did.
My heart races as I pace the floor. Tears scream out of my eyes wondering if there's more.
His death has got me thinking, going past time; that life is unexpected and re-circles in my mind.
His loss is unexpected and though I am awake; I feel as though I am dreaming, crossing the distance of day.
My mind is a blur and the thought is purely unknown, wishing and hoping it would have been different along the road.
Gone through every detail of when I talked to him, thinking of how lost and concised his life has been.
Sorrow closes in on my saddened heart, at a loss for words, everythings feelings like its falling apart.
We can't rewind the past nor delete the present, but i'm wondering why he left in the way he did.
His death has got me thinking, going past time; that life is unexpected and re-circles in my mind.
His loss is unexpected and though I am awake; I feel as though I am dreaming, crossing the distance of day.
My mind is a blur and the thought is purely unknown, wishing and hoping it would have been different along the road.
Gone through every detail of when I talked to him, thinking of how lost and concised his life has been.
Sorrow closes in on my saddened heart, at a loss for words, everythings feelings like its falling apart.
We can't rewind the past nor delete the present, but i'm wondering why he left in the way he did.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
All Part of the Circle of Winter
The Wind howls at the frozen Trees, yet the trees do not Move.
They stand there with an eloquence glaring back at everything around Them.
The icy like snow plunders to the ground with the ground catching every fall.
Blankets of overbearing Snow cover the hard Cement and sidewalks.
People passing slush around making there way; the wind beats hard on there face as looking down to avoid the soft yet piercing Snow.
Reluctantly I have a Scarf that engulfs my face to protect me from the frostbiting fall.
My fingers are Frigid, Cold and Unfeeling as I race to my Shelter in seek of warmth and refuge away from the storm.
Although the Sun has spread out his rays; I am no where near the sunlight nor has the warmth of the rays reached the Atmosphere.
Every rising hour, a new glaze of snow is placed over the north; fresh Footprints then follow.
A February afternoon opening its eyes to evening has turned into a mustery Alaskan night; freezing climate and darkened clouds halo the horizon.
They stand there with an eloquence glaring back at everything around Them.
The icy like snow plunders to the ground with the ground catching every fall.
Blankets of overbearing Snow cover the hard Cement and sidewalks.
People passing slush around making there way; the wind beats hard on there face as looking down to avoid the soft yet piercing Snow.
Reluctantly I have a Scarf that engulfs my face to protect me from the frostbiting fall.
My fingers are Frigid, Cold and Unfeeling as I race to my Shelter in seek of warmth and refuge away from the storm.
Although the Sun has spread out his rays; I am no where near the sunlight nor has the warmth of the rays reached the Atmosphere.
Every rising hour, a new glaze of snow is placed over the north; fresh Footprints then follow.
A February afternoon opening its eyes to evening has turned into a mustery Alaskan night; freezing climate and darkened clouds halo the horizon.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
...and So it Comes
We come to a halt in our lives where our thoughts run wild, our desires strengthen and we feel an impowerful force that surrounds us. No matter what direction we're going, for some reason we may never know where we are going yet we have a feeling that we are heading the right direction. A peace that calms us even if we feel like we could break down and cry. A surreal yet unreal feeling of hope that could just get us to the next day, or the next success. Sitting in a cool, colored room with open minded people whispering quietly amongst eachother; the lights are dim with an inviting welcome of serenity. Well lit candles cover the tables like sailboats floating on an ocean. Laughter fills the perfect warmed air, as a man and woman whom sit close, hand in hand, share a glass of red champagne. The atmosphere is shown in the texture of the room, the peoples voices and my own glance into the room of peace...............
Friday, February 1, 2008
Thought of the Day- Rekindling a Friendship
Rekindling A Friendship from the Past Years is like Rekindling Wood in a Fireplace that has Been Unlit for a long period of Time. All there Needs to Be is a Source to light that Fire.
Like Painting on a Canvas
To write an unknown feeling on a blank page, Is like deciding what to paint on a canvas. You have a visuality in your mind yet it can't transpire from your head to your fingertips to the tip of your pencil or in this case the keys. For some it's a natural rhythmical flow while others it takes much thought. The flow may not be so narrow or straight. It could possibly have winding roads where it creates its own pathway. Once you begin to write, paint or draw, you naturally know what will come next. Today I don't.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Different in Life
Mastering the art of life isn't easy nor will it ever be. Complicated? yes. Confusing? yes again. But mastering those difficulties is what makes up life. We can't always be perfect, but always can try to overcome those things. What is life living without taking jumps, and taking steps to becoming who we are? Faking our flaws, is denying who we are. Our disabilites, our complexities make up our individuality. I'm not saying that improving ourselves is wrong but there are things we can't improve because everyone is different. I have personally learned that I have things that i'm not 'gifted' with that others are. We complete eachother.
There are those people who can write and those who can't. There are those who can draw very well. I cannot. But i've learned that's what makes up my uniqueness. That's what makes up my individuality; the things i can and cannot (yes..cannot) do.
Sometimes I get low because of those so called flaws or differences. But why waste time and worry about those complicites when life is waiting at the other side. We just got to grasp hold of those differences and move on and succeed in other things that we CAN do!
There are those people who can write and those who can't. There are those who can draw very well. I cannot. But i've learned that's what makes up my uniqueness. That's what makes up my individuality; the things i can and cannot (yes..cannot) do.
Sometimes I get low because of those so called flaws or differences. But why waste time and worry about those complicites when life is waiting at the other side. We just got to grasp hold of those differences and move on and succeed in other things that we CAN do!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Inspire-On my Mind
Have you ever wanted to just...write? No matter what. I want to just poor out everything on the table or plate or..... I want to express my feelings and thoughts on everything, although I already have. I want to get to the point and straight across. So here I go.
Have you ever felt like you didn't say the right thing or do the right thing? I have. Ever felt like you ran out of time with either someone or something? I have. It's not a comforting feeling either. Nervousness surrounds you and your air supply seems to be cut from your throat. You can't speak, intelligently anyway. Constantly re-thinking everything in the past; going through every movement and remembering every detail where you had the chance yet didn't take it. An overcoming, overwhelming feeling but without it you'd feel guilty. No hurt, no heartache yet. But a feeling of waves crashing over you; how it stings yet you love the water that rushes over you when it does. Thinking about the waves doesn't do far as much as when you are right next to them; running with them. I'm inspired by this. If you go to the beach only once a year, when you see the ocean; you want to run and greet them. Or lay in the sands; watching the waves. You don't appreciate the waves as much till you are away from them; and must wait to return next year.
The grains of sand blow away or to a different destination,but the waves are always there; no matter what. Why do I feel like I missed the waves? and the most important question, Did the waves want me to stay?
Have you ever felt like you didn't say the right thing or do the right thing? I have. Ever felt like you ran out of time with either someone or something? I have. It's not a comforting feeling either. Nervousness surrounds you and your air supply seems to be cut from your throat. You can't speak, intelligently anyway. Constantly re-thinking everything in the past; going through every movement and remembering every detail where you had the chance yet didn't take it. An overcoming, overwhelming feeling but without it you'd feel guilty. No hurt, no heartache yet. But a feeling of waves crashing over you; how it stings yet you love the water that rushes over you when it does. Thinking about the waves doesn't do far as much as when you are right next to them; running with them. I'm inspired by this. If you go to the beach only once a year, when you see the ocean; you want to run and greet them. Or lay in the sands; watching the waves. You don't appreciate the waves as much till you are away from them; and must wait to return next year.
The grains of sand blow away or to a different destination,but the waves are always there; no matter what. Why do I feel like I missed the waves? and the most important question, Did the waves want me to stay?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The New Beginning; A New Semester
The New Semester has just begun. Just like a new clean slate; All grains and pieces of yesterday are long gone. New mistakes, new worries, new successes, and new ideals have now come into play. The past is left behind; while I'm looking toward a New future. For instance, a crisp snowfall that has just landed. No marks, no footprints, no swipes of dirt. All the physicallity of the next day has yet to start. What will my footprints be? Where Will I go? What wrong turn will I make? What correct move will I take? It's all held in the Future ahead and beyond what I can imagine. The apathy of the future relies on my actions; on my sufferings and on my longing of hope. Each snowflake is a piece of my future; some of my past and some of my present. Only I can take the first Footsteps into the freshly fallen snow; to conquor and get across to where I want go and who I want to be. I can make those marks that other people will see that could reflect on them. They will see my marks and see my footprints and know I'm the one that created them. Not only do I want my past remembered; but more a long the lines of my present and future being remembered.
So in this New beginning, In this New Time, and In this New Semester; I want to indulge, communicate and grasp onto hold the open ideas of education, family, love, life and living it. And hopefully my reflection will show in others as well.
So in this New beginning, In this New Time, and In this New Semester; I want to indulge, communicate and grasp onto hold the open ideas of education, family, love, life and living it. And hopefully my reflection will show in others as well.
Friday, January 11, 2008
The Art of Bitterness and Deception
Lately, It's been on my mind. For so many years, it has been on my mind. Turmoil. Distrust. Family. Honesty. Truth. Regrets. Bitterness. Deception. Hatred. Misunderstandings. Deceiving. Masterminding. Controlling. Dishonor. Deception. Lies. So many words to describe something so incorrectly wrong. A mist of confusion for so many years. So much time has gone to waste while arguing, suffering, heartbreak, and pure ignorance. The littlest of things can cause the biggest mistakes. The art of bitterness creates walls that can barely be broken free. After so many years; dead vines cover the walls grasping onto the sadness and leftover pieces of the past. The art of deception is the bricks to the walls. No matter what happens more layers are being built as time tends to fade away. No one knows what goes on beyond the walls; what goes on outside of their territorial barriers. Deceit and Lies are the thick glue and paste that grasps at the bricks to create the wall. After so many years, the paste has become hardened, frail, brittle, and apprehensive. No one knows that one thing could easily break down the wall. But no; no one dares to break the bond of inhumanity. No one dares to even climb the wall to see who's on the other side. No one thinks about destroying the wall that has been standing for many years. New paths way have to be created. New ways of life must be met. The wall has to come down. The art of bitterness and deception has to one day fall. If one of us doesn't break the wall; it will one day crumble to pieces and there will be nothing.
The Thing That Could Change Your Life
I go past the window with the relish of tomorrow.
Figuring out if it’s worth all the burden and sorrow.
The bitterness towards one another,
To a friend, parent or brother.
No matter what one may say,
We can never be able to count how many days
That we have left.
So many hurts, depression, and lies.
Jealousy arouses within creating year long fights.
Anger and demoralization has come into play,
Only to erase the expressions on a face.
No admitting that one’s wrong,
Perhaps the reason why they’re gone.
Held under weights for so many years,
Bringing about all the streaming tears.
Too many regrets, too much words per say.
Love and Forgive before it’s too late.
Figuring out if it’s worth all the burden and sorrow.
The bitterness towards one another,
To a friend, parent or brother.
No matter what one may say,
We can never be able to count how many days
That we have left.
So many hurts, depression, and lies.
Jealousy arouses within creating year long fights.
Anger and demoralization has come into play,
Only to erase the expressions on a face.
No admitting that one’s wrong,
Perhaps the reason why they’re gone.
Held under weights for so many years,
Bringing about all the streaming tears.
Too many regrets, too much words per say.
Love and Forgive before it’s too late.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
In My Eve of Questioning
Thoughts are always running through my head, whether good or bad. No matter what, I analyze things. It can be a good thing in some cases but a bad thing in others. Once I get a thought into my head, I can simply not get it out again. The wind of thoughts breathe down my neck; no blanket to keep me warm, and no heater to warm up the air. The coldness of thoughts surround me until i'm at the shatter of death. Beyond compare i Know not what the Wind can do or how hard it can blow. Winter slowly poors in, yet my being is not ready. However, i do know that if the wind does not decease; my lips will get chap, my hands with grow blue, my ears will turn red, and my body will grow numb. At a hastening gesture, my body will freeze until every syllable out of my lips are spoken or until every breath is taken. All I know is that the Eve of thinking and the beginning of new questions have begun.
My Thought For This Week- Live Like You Were Dying
I heard a song on the radio today, "Live Like You were Dying" by Tim McGraw!
~
He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do
and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again
and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it?
Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
It really made me think. I mean I'm sure some people who are on there death beds wish that they would have done something in life. Wished that they could have done things, forgiven people, made it right. They were given the chance to do that, but they lost it. I realized that I still Have that Chance and I dont want to make that mistake. If you Have Read this Today, I encourage You to Strive to Live, and to Love!! That is my goal for this year, Let it Be yours too!
-You never Know How Much Time You've Got, till You Have Little Time!
~
He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do
and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again
and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it?
Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
It really made me think. I mean I'm sure some people who are on there death beds wish that they would have done something in life. Wished that they could have done things, forgiven people, made it right. They were given the chance to do that, but they lost it. I realized that I still Have that Chance and I dont want to make that mistake. If you Have Read this Today, I encourage You to Strive to Live, and to Love!! That is my goal for this year, Let it Be yours too!
-You never Know How Much Time You've Got, till You Have Little Time!
Friday, January 4, 2008
The Confusing Confusion..PART 2
Soo...Back to The Fruit.
I've Finally Decided I Want the Orange!!
I Love the Orange. It's My Favorite.:D
The Apple is Bland!! yuck.
Hopefully the Orange is ok with that!
I've Finally Decided I Want the Orange!!
I Love the Orange. It's My Favorite.:D
The Apple is Bland!! yuck.
Hopefully the Orange is ok with that!
A Journey
"We are on a Journey. Life it's called. It's long, arduous, exhausting, and well can be hard.
Some People's trips are longer; others shorter. Some take pathways that take them straight to the Prize. Others take many Pathways where backtracking is needed.
But the Journey ONLY matters when we Reach the Destination and What we Did During Our Trip. Making the Most out of the Travel is What Will Count."
That's My Thought Of the Day!
Some People's trips are longer; others shorter. Some take pathways that take them straight to the Prize. Others take many Pathways where backtracking is needed.
But the Journey ONLY matters when we Reach the Destination and What we Did During Our Trip. Making the Most out of the Travel is What Will Count."
That's My Thought Of the Day!
A New Year
It's 2008; a New Year! New Resolutions. New Thoughts. New Hopes. Newness is in the air.
I believe we can Make the Best out of the Year
By Living!
The Past is well...the Past!
A New Year is starting over. New plans, a fresh start.
Making a new past, starting the future, and moving on.
If it means beginning a new way of life or just living more fully~
~ Grasp onto Life because you Never Know when it could slip out of Your Hands.
Look Ahead and Strive for Life.
Happy New Year to ALL.
I believe we can Make the Best out of the Year
By Living!
The Past is well...the Past!
A New Year is starting over. New plans, a fresh start.
Making a new past, starting the future, and moving on.
If it means beginning a new way of life or just living more fully~
~ Grasp onto Life because you Never Know when it could slip out of Your Hands.
Look Ahead and Strive for Life.
Happy New Year to ALL.
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