Okay so Number 1, I do not like being NEW especially when i am in unfamiliar places that i have never been to and don't barely know or have an aquaintance with ANYONE!
Number 2
I can adapt to change, yes, and i hace experience much change in the small life i have lived, yes, but it does not mean i LIKE change.
For one I hate going to places that are new unless i know someone or i go with someone that i know other than that, it makes me annoyed and insecure,yes insecure, and to be honest, just a little nauseating.
I also hate when you are at church and the welcoming people call you by your sister's name EVERY time you go and then asks if thats your name and you say NO every single time..AHH!!
Also i don't like when people talk to you and they absolutely for surely know that you want a wall between you..haha..seriously though..some people i just DO NOT want to have a "connection" with or "interaction" with because they either annoy the crap out of me or bother me some way or another. I usually try NOT to send the message to them that i feel this way but usually it some how gets out..but sometimes i dont feel that way and people take what i say or how i react wrong..
But yeah...
The Wind of Change is a life long thing that happens. Pretty soon change will be all i know, with college, new people, new surrounding, no parents, etc....some things good, others bad...:(..so yeah its not exactly fun..
The reason why I DO NOT like BBBIIIGGG churches!!!!!
1. you barely are able to get to know someone really well unless you're connected some other way because there are SOO many people in the church.
2. look to number 1 with people my age
3. churches have there own little "cliques" too... which is TONS harder when you go to a HUGE church with lots of people and when you dont know ANYONE!!
..but yeah
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Popcorn-just like Feelings.
Popcorn only pops when you heat the kernels up with some source of heat whether electric, by a microwave or over an open fire. The popcorn ALWAYS has a source. Without corn, there would be no such thing as "popcorn". Without the source, there would be no way to make the kernels into what they come to be.
Feelings always have a source, whether from the heart or thoughts of others around you. Those things create the feelings that you have.
Kernels pop, but sometimes they don't. If the heat doesn't get to them or if there isnt enough butter on the kernel to penetrate it for it to pop, then it stays a kernel.
Sometimes we have feelings for reasons that we don't know why. Instead of 'popping' like everyone else is we simply just don't pop at all. We keep our feelings to our selves and never share them with eachother.
If you ever roast or pop popcorn there always seems to be a couple that pop late..sometimes very late....they are the kernels that pop when you take a bag out of the microwave and as you open the bag one pops..
Feelings can be like that in a person. You hold feelings in and never express them or talk about that and then one day, you pop/blow!! Everything feels like it's exploding, and you don't know what to do. Pretty soon that's all you ever know. Is to hold on to the feelings and then one day let them go with more than just a free hand; more like a thunderstorm or hurricane. It can effect others.
Feelings always have a source, whether from the heart or thoughts of others around you. Those things create the feelings that you have.
Kernels pop, but sometimes they don't. If the heat doesn't get to them or if there isnt enough butter on the kernel to penetrate it for it to pop, then it stays a kernel.
Sometimes we have feelings for reasons that we don't know why. Instead of 'popping' like everyone else is we simply just don't pop at all. We keep our feelings to our selves and never share them with eachother.
If you ever roast or pop popcorn there always seems to be a couple that pop late..sometimes very late....they are the kernels that pop when you take a bag out of the microwave and as you open the bag one pops..
Feelings can be like that in a person. You hold feelings in and never express them or talk about that and then one day, you pop/blow!! Everything feels like it's exploding, and you don't know what to do. Pretty soon that's all you ever know. Is to hold on to the feelings and then one day let them go with more than just a free hand; more like a thunderstorm or hurricane. It can effect others.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Night/In the Country (7/17/2007)
The fog approaches. The clouds are severed. The sky turns to a sheer pink. Lights beam through the windows on some of the houses that have weathered.
Ah' the sound of country; I hear birds from my right ear, yet trucks and cars passing through St.Rd.39 on my left.
A great picture it would be as the sky comes to the realization of night! For just one second everything is silenced, while I have the company of a firefly.
The smell of the air is humid and blurred, yet the feeling of stillness is heavenly and relaxing.
I listen, I watch the horse pondering around the field. An old, wooden fence surrounds his large territory, rain pours; not unders its own will.
Yes, it's the time for evening. As I look back up from the pages I am writing on, it dawns on me that the sky is faultering to a gray.
Lights are still seen; the rain lingers as the night begins. Why am I so suprised? Why, even the trees know it will happen again.
Ah' the sound of country; I hear birds from my right ear, yet trucks and cars passing through St.Rd.39 on my left.
A great picture it would be as the sky comes to the realization of night! For just one second everything is silenced, while I have the company of a firefly.
The smell of the air is humid and blurred, yet the feeling of stillness is heavenly and relaxing.
I listen, I watch the horse pondering around the field. An old, wooden fence surrounds his large territory, rain pours; not unders its own will.
Yes, it's the time for evening. As I look back up from the pages I am writing on, it dawns on me that the sky is faultering to a gray.
Lights are still seen; the rain lingers as the night begins. Why am I so suprised? Why, even the trees know it will happen again.
Music Symphony/ Soul (7/10/2007)
Music I hear, the influence it gives. Creativity flows out of me, as I listen.
The soul of music, where it all began. The true meaning, yet hard to understand.
Songs of love and peace, comforting and peacefull yet some distraught notes about hate and guilt that perhaps is distasteful.
Music shouldn't just be about fantasies, and things that aren't real. I think that a song matters most when you write what you feel.
The lyrics of a song or a melody to a simple piece, should be the heart and soul of someones feelings.
Music isn't about lying, it is where truth should be simply told, bringing out the reality of what music can actually hold.
Music engulfs my mind, gliding in my blood, amazingly travels through my soul, creating a music flood.
My voice is an instrument, my passion is the note. Music is my symphony, that makes my soul flow.
The soul of music, where it all began. The true meaning, yet hard to understand.
Songs of love and peace, comforting and peacefull yet some distraught notes about hate and guilt that perhaps is distasteful.
Music shouldn't just be about fantasies, and things that aren't real. I think that a song matters most when you write what you feel.
The lyrics of a song or a melody to a simple piece, should be the heart and soul of someones feelings.
Music isn't about lying, it is where truth should be simply told, bringing out the reality of what music can actually hold.
Music engulfs my mind, gliding in my blood, amazingly travels through my soul, creating a music flood.
My voice is an instrument, my passion is the note. Music is my symphony, that makes my soul flow.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
the ART of Stress...
wow.. life can be soo stressfull..no matter what is going on..its nuts
i hate stress!!
i hate stress!!
Monday, July 9, 2007
Is There Something called Real?
Being real to me is being truthful to yourself. BEing different. Having your own dislikes and likes. Not liking something because someone else doesn't. Real is truth. Being truthful is being real to who you are and what you will become. I think that is where you will find yourself. If you're Real with who you are then you can be Real with others. I've just realized that showing your REAL self can help. your not a copy of someone. Just you. I think thats what makes us REAL. and I think thats what makes our dreams a REAL-ity!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Sonnet-O' Wondrous of Ways
How do I love Thee? Let me count the ways, I love Thee beyong the coldness of death, No matter where Thee go. I shall love Thee till the end of time, til the oon turns bright red or till the sun is no more. I love Thee with nothing else behind me, No one else to interfere the time on earth. I love Thee strong, bright, till the very end. Time passes so fast, but yet you are still beside me. I love Thee, with love that can last till the day that I past. O' so many wondrous ways that I love Thee. How can I count The so many ways That I love Thee?
No More Life -(by me) 06/08/2007
No more hellos, no more goodbyes, no more winks, all laughs have died.
No more talking, no more breathing, no more dreaming, hope is leaving.
No more life, just endless death, gone so soon, yet a time to dread.
It still feels like a dream, a trance that we're in, coming to the realization that he is at his end.
No more tears that he will shed, not more words that were or will be said.
No more life, all is gone, just one morning, right at dawn.
No matter how many times we cry, I can never get over that he died.
No more talking, no more breathing, no more dreaming, hope is leaving.
No more life, just endless death, gone so soon, yet a time to dread.
It still feels like a dream, a trance that we're in, coming to the realization that he is at his end.
No more tears that he will shed, not more words that were or will be said.
No more life, all is gone, just one morning, right at dawn.
No matter how many times we cry, I can never get over that he died.
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