Love is....(6/23/07)

Love can bring a smile to a face that never has.

Love can bond even the worst of enemies.

Love can be simple.

Love can be complicated.

Love is the depth of your heart.

Love breaks chains, bondages, and fears.

Love brings back memories.

Love gives you a reason to live.

Love is the hope for tomorrow.

Love never fades away.

Love will be there right beside you, there to guide you through the quest of life.

Love is never foolish yet can make us be joyful and excited.

Love can make a person do things that he/she never though they could do.

Love can change you.

Love is the peace in our lives that gives us a chance to say i love you.

Love is the forever love that will never let you go; never let you fall.

Love is not fake;it's real and truthful.

Love can bring a kiss to a tear, a hug to a fear, and a person to be beside when you are lonely.

Love is not the only the greatest gift, but it's also the greatest thing you could ever receive.

Love brings out your inner being.

Love controls who you are, yet it can make you go out of control; in the greatest of ways.

Love is unselfishness and thinking of others than yourself.

Love makes you giddy, angelic, divine,wonder, brings joy, and attracts the true sensibility of the heart.

Love is the definition of a chance that can be taken.

Am I Living?

I have Tears. Joy. Laughter. Sorrow. Happiness. Sadness. I carry Hope. Love. Peace. Kindness. I witness War. Heartache. Confusion. Separation. Death. Misunderstanding. I believe in Redemption. Faith. Trust. Honest. I'm afraid of Hate. Worry. Sickness. Pain. Scarcity. Loneliness. Abandonment. Absentness. I strive for Success.Love.Acceptance. Hope. Forgiveness.

Am I living? That is a question I ask myself often. What is really the true definition of living?
~an actual existence, having life; no death.
~active, thriving and strong; flowing freely
~true to life
~absolute. changing; livelihood
~survival

Am I a lifeless being that floats around space; with no purpose and no plans? or do I Coexist to the unknown and only live my life under shadows that have been carried over to me? Will the weights ever be taken off, will the pressure be sustained? I'm hoping for the chance to look out of the window and see the sky once more; to look over the the ground and see spurts of grass begin to grow. My inner core is drying up; yet I need replenished to help me survive.

The One I Seek

I've been searching for so long, caught up in the past yet I want this feeling to last.
I want to find the one I seek, the one that will belong to me.
If I try to fake the reality, I know my heart will break.
So i'm just holding to the fact, that my heart is coming back.
I am learning to find the One i Seek!

Reccuring Thoughts of You

I have a reccuring dream that happens over and over again.
Except it never stops, o the memories surrounding my head.
I have a reccuring happening of the time I spent with you.
It only ever happened when I wasn't sure what to do.
I have a recurring verse that has been heard over again,
But it keeps reminding me of the words that were left unsaid.
I have a recurring thought of you, that makes me want to cry.
But everytime i remember, I can't help thinking why.
The recurring mystery that was between me and you,
that kept us lost in eachothers eyes going against what we do.
The Recurring thoughts of you, were standing in the door.
Hoping that life will open itself up only once more.

The Confusing Confusion

Yes, it's a word. In the midst of two separate confusions that conspire into one monateouness confusing bliss more like a headache.
Hm. I can't explain it all, because that is how simply confusing it is.
I will just confuse you.
Okay here, I'll try to illustrate with an unusual allagory:

I like fruit. The ripe, sweet, very good fruit.
Now, there is an apple and there is an orange. I like both fruits a lot. The orange is more brightly colored and the apple has a shiny tint.
The orange has been sitting on the counter for weeks, perhaps even months. and Well i never grabbed that orange. So someone does.
The apple, however has been only sitting on the counter for a couple days, maybe a week. and Well i am considering grabbing the apple.
Although the apple is already in my hand, I still want the orange. I've seen the orange sit on the counter for a long time. For we only just got the apple.
In my mind i want the apple, but im afraid I may drop it. But I may want the orange, but yet it might just roll out of my hands.

Originally I like fruit, now why do i have to choose whether or not I want the apple or orange?

The Bottom

I have dived into the sea while risking it all. Knowing that I could hit the rocks that would break my fall.
So I go for the chance without even the wind knowing, but somewhere beyond the horizon i'm afraid of my fear showing.
I take the leap, I run the mile. But the sea consumes me with the wave's smile.
The rigid rocks jabb into my skin, this pain comes alive once again.
This hurt is familiar, yet i seemed so unaware.Until the rocks hit me, i lost my care.
Taken too many risks that have cost my life which im not willing to sacrifice.
The evil has come back to haunt me and to watch over my heart, making sure that it stays apart.
Maybe I was never meant to dive into the ocean so soon, perhaps i should have stayed on the land away from the doom.
Now i must wait at the sea below, as my heart trys to mend it self together once more.

October 23rd...Rain and Smoke Anaolgy.

The Rain is pouring so heavely. I love the rain. The smell it gives, the freshness it leaks out, yet i try to avoid it.
I'm afraid of the rain that it may hurt my appearance, defiling my outsides. Yet I simply know i won't be thought as different, but yet i still try to avoid it.
The Rain makes things grow, yet I hide under the black umbrella that shields me from getting wet.
While outside watching the seemingless water, stream down, bouncing off the sidewalk to create a shining glow. A magnificent aspect of weather yet I do my best to stay dry, to keep out of the splendor.
I stay Away from the Rain which I can soak up yet smoke crawls into my lungs and is only breathed out to fill the air.
I take a big deep breath of a substance that can be predicted. As soon as it has satisfied my senses, I exhale while sustaining a confused feeling.
The rain is not confusing nor misunderstood yet I keep myself away from it cleaning the air. The smoke is cloudy, which takes up time and money and only produces satisfaction.
The umbrella that covers me not only keeps the rain away but it holds the smoke close to choke me.
I don't want the smoke, neither the umbrella. I want to feel the rain, and I want to run it.
I want to breathe and live the rain yet i have no whre else to go except the closed tightness umbrella that overalps me with the smoke steaming down my throat.

September 9th 2007

Confusion is pouring out of my heart that is still dry.
Anticipation is at the edge while waiting to be done.
Too many things to think of, yet the time is slowing down.
Faster, I say, yet time will not listen. No matter what
rope I pull. Smiles are fierce and crossing everyone's face,
except for mine. No matter the distance, I want to run.
I want to run so far till I can't run anymore; to become worthwhiled.
Will this world every be unslandered, united and not-arrogant?
Can i trust the people of this world? No. I believe I can not.
The bleeding is still going, my mind is still crying. My tears are not yet drying.
and the heart that was plundered is still dying.