Fear-8/15/07

I fear of Falling down to the ground, trying to get up, while afraid of falling back down.
I'm out of breath, feeling it's too late.Trying to hold on but my legs always give way.
I'm scared of losing, of drowning in my own blood. Falling under the emotions while dying of love.
Consequently I'm pacing, lost of the truth. Running up and down the pathway still hoping I won't lose.
Searching fpr the right road. The one bridge to cross, but yet I fear that I'll join the others who are at loss.
I may be slipping so very far away, but i know i never can go back, atleast not today.
The fear of falling over a large cliff. Closing the air I breathe, while my lungs get stiff.
I'm losing, fearing and always falling. The hurt is wrapped around me. Perhaps, Im scared of everything.

Freedom-THe kind No one Knows Of.

I want to be free. I wish we could just get up and go somewhere no matter the distance, no matter the cost. But here I'm trapped in the timely earth that beckons me to stay chained to the unexpected. I want to just have a simple life, no complications, no worries, no loss, no underestimation of the ability of humanity. But then again, I feel the sores on my hands and feet reminding of the chains that have been and will always be there. I want to have freedom that no one else has. To have a mystery, a secret. Yet no one is getting hurt by the sinless temptation. The memories again captivate my mind and drown the hope of having freedom. A freedom like I never have had, to solemnly bring peace to my mind whenever wherever. To do as I please, not in a rebellious way;no. Just leaving to a peaceful spot. With no one to ask where your going, why,etc. Its more of a freedom that cannot be explained. Ah being Free. I wonder...

No. It does not exhist. For I am bound on this earth with none just like my fellow brothers.

Travel and other Thoughts

I want to travel. I want to go across the world to eat different foods, be with different people, hear different languages, and see different cultures. I like diversity. I love culture. I want to travel and write about different countries and people around the world.

Smiles. Curiosity. Creativity. Individuality. Writing. Playing. Thinking. Diversity of Ethics. Friendship. Loneliness. Sadness. Depression. Missing. Wondering. Stressing.Laughing. Hoping. Learning. Life. Am I Living?

Tired and all that combined

Tiredness is dripping from my cheeks and falling onto the floor. Energy- very little I must say. Thoughts and worries are soaking up the clouds above me, as i barely lift my eyes to even spell my name correctly. Time is only to a limit and spare time happens rarely never. Sleep is needed yet I still want to know whats going on around me; don't want to miss anything or anyone. Ah....sleep just 20 more minutes and I will be slothfully laying in my bed with my sheets right next to me; with a pillow- finally something to prop my head....drifting..drifting off to sleep..and remembering ALL that needs done a couple hours after i sleep...

Writing nothing..

I wanted to write something inspiring, yet interesting but then i thought perhaps things that happen to me that I think are normal aren't really normal.For example;learning a lesson. I could share something that happened with a family member or a friend and to me it would just be another mess up/ confusion-based problem or "gift" but to someone else it could be an eye opener, realization or something to just intrigue them.. this is where i stop.... i think way too much!

Tonight- A MOVIE

Tonight could have easily been a movie. With the acception of not EVERYTHING happening and little details would have to be added. But still when I was working tonight, someone came and it could have been definetely a beginning of a romantic/comical movies.

Yes, I believe it could.

Life of Becoming a College Student and Such.

Assigments? Money? FAFSA? Student Loan? Parent Loan? Fees? Money? Ah a life of a College Student. Courses? Notebooks? Pencils? Money? Books? Papers? Computers? Printers? Notepads? Money? Classes-when and where to take them? Ah a life of a College Student. Responsibility? Freedom? Trust? Rules?Money? Friends? Ah a life of a College Student. Dorm Items? MONEY?...ah a life of a College Student..


What is the most common word and needed thing? You guessed it! MONEY!!!