Sometimes There is Rain...

Right now it is raining.

Sometimes I feel like in Life, rain is God's love or his mercy's and blessings but other times I feel like it's worries and stress and all the difficulties in life that come down.

Not only a sprinkle but a pouring rain that drenches you, that makes you scared

of your appearance.

What am I scared of you may ask?

Life.

Losing Love.

Failing.

Running.

Mysteriously growing farther and farther away from someone...

or something.

Sometimes tides of rain come in and you are standing there with an umbrella unsure of what to do.

Sure you are equipped....but not every time do you carry an umbrella or a raincoat.

And that's where I get stuck.

I'm always feeling stranded in the middle of a field unsure when the rain is going to hit and

very unprepared for what storm will cave in.

Sometimes there is Rain, but sometimes there is something more.

Sometimes there is Rain, but other times there just might be a flood.

I've only be married for a few months and I already feel like that passion between two people can slip away so easily.

Why?

Is that normal?

Is it just me? Or is it the storm i'm waiting for or hesitating to miss?

I don't want to live with a life of regret.... as in what could have been or what should

have been...I want to live a life with purpose but at this moment feel i'm just standing out in the middle of nowhere with no sign, no manual on what to do, and not a simple drop of food or water to keep me alive....What am i missing?

It's easy to put a face, any face on something that could not be. It's easy to mislead. It's easy to lie to myself. It's easy to fake happiness.

Why is it so easy to fake and not actually to do?

I have yet to understand the true meaning of why I am the way I am. Why I want something more than the so called life I have. Why I long for passion with my relationships and the people that I love. Some show passion and that gives me hope.

However, others seem dry, heartless and say that they love but don't embrace me or others.

Are we all just stranded in fields waiting for the rain and/or the storm? Or are we stuck wishing there was a path that says "go here"?

Could it be that Sometimes there is Rain.........

and Sometimes there is Sunshine?

Waiting for the light....waiting for that sign....hopelessly, patiently, enthusiastically waiting....